Two of our valuable Handmade volunteers passed away.

Ronnie Silverstone had been an active member of Handmade since the onset of the pandemic.  As soon as she heard we needed a place for one of our baskets of kits, she volunteered her house.  She really beat the bushes for Handmade, approaching the yarn stores she frequented for donations.  She brought yarn from as far away as Thousand Oaks to as close as Culver City.  She also was a great recruiter.  Many of her friends became scarfers for Handmade.  I hope they’ll stay involved with our scarf project as a way to remember Ronnie.  I attended her funeral and found out that yarn, knitting, and participating in Handmade reflected only a small part of Ronnie’s life.  She was a teacher, an entrepreneur, and a person who helped as many people as she could.  That sure fits in to the profile of other Handmade volunteers.  We’ll really miss her. 

I’ve told you about Joanne Garlick several times in the past.  An abuse survivor herself, she joined Handmade in 2009 with a fervent desire to help current abuse survivors.  She told me many times what receiving one of our comfort scarves would have meant to her had she received one.  So she resolved to make as many as she could.  I sent her a case of yarn each month and she sent Handmade about 100 scarves each month.  Over the years, that adds up to over 15,000 scarves.  Wow.  Sorry to say, Joanne died last month.  I just received her last box of scarves.  I haven’t been brave enough to open it, sorry as I am that it is her last.  She was very committed to Handmade and our scarf project.  She was a good friend to me personally, even though I never actually met her.  We communicated by email.  We all have a lot of scarfing to do to make up for her loss. 

In 2019 we posted photos of Joanne's work in our photo gallery.  Joanne's crochet pattern is listed under the crochet patterns tab.

Love,

Leslye

Today was Handmade’s first shipping of 2023.  And what a day it was.  Ann, Chris, and I sent 1,400 scarves and 150 hats to 45 shelters.  We didn’t quite finish, but we will do so next week.  What impressed me even more than the numbers—and the numbers are truly impressive—is how so many of you answered my call last week for more wrapped scarves and not only wrapped scarves quickly but went out of your way to get them to me in time to include them today.  Thanks of course to our regular wrappers—Carlyn, Carole, Chris F, Chris N, Elizabeth, and Sari, but also to two new wrappers, Anneliese and Nancy J.   Redwood Knitters’s (Mill Valley) box of scarves arrived yesterday already wrapped.  Lisa S, delivered her monthly bag of scarves yesterday and they too were already wrapped.  I felt you all sensed the urgency of having enough scarves for the shipping.  You can see why I am so touched.  So many participants.  So much dedication to our project.  And together, we achieved so much.  Many, many thanks.

 

Let’s remember all the work and effort it takes to generate scarves that need wrapping.  Every scarf starts with yarn, so thanks to all those who donate yarn or $$$ to buy yarn.   The yarn has to be measured, so thanks to the measurers--Bonnie, Joyce, Karen H, Meredith, and Paula.  Measured yarn needs to be made into Magic Balls, so thanks to all the winders—Karen H, Kayoko, Lois, and Paula.  Then, the Magic Balls go to all of you knitters and crocheters and you make them into our wonderful, beautiful comfort scarves.  Thanks to each and every scarf maker.  Thanks to Sharon for checking the scarves, weaving in the ends (when necessary), adjusting the fun fur and making sure each and every scarf is perfect enough to give to an abuse survivor who has sought the protection of a shelter.  Finally, the finished scarves go to the wrappers, who dress them up with colorful curling ribbon.   It takes a village for sure, and Handmade is a really good village.  Make sure to give yourself a pat on the back for all the good you do participating in Handmade.

I made a few remarks at the end of our lunch and I would like to share them with you.  See photos on our website's Photo Gallery.

Every year I remind you “It takes a village” to make a comfort scarf.  And it does.  We’re the village.  It takes all of us to achieve the huge accomplishment Handmade has done this year:  We sent 12,230 scarves, 1,335 hats and almost 400 baby items to 70 shelters for abused and/or homeless women.   167,240 scarves since we started in 2008.  How does our village do this? 

We start with generous yarn donors—both yarn companies and committed individuals, who contribute fabulous yarn, all textures, weights and colors.  Once we have yarn.  What happens next?  A comfort scarf is made up of three different yarns— the A, the main yarn that runs throughout the scarf; the fun fur or novelty yarn, 2 25-foot pieces, one for the beginning and end of each scarf; and the B, an 85-yard ball of yarn that runs with the A between the 2 pieces of the fun fur/novelty yarn.

How do we get the components?  Some volunteers measure the B-yarn into 85-yard balls.  Other volunteers measure fun fur and novelty yarns.  Once we have these two essential parts, we’re ready to make Magic Balls.

I select the A yarn, 5 balls of B yarn, and 5 packets of fun fur/novelty yarn and put them into a bag.  Volunteers wind the yarns into “Magic Balls,” the essence of Handmade’s scarf making program.

Once we have the Magic Balls ready, the scarf makers--knitters and crocheters—come to a parking lot in Torrance on Wednesday afternoons to pick them up.  If they can’t make it to a Wednesday afternoon pick up location, they can get Magic Balls from bins on the porches more volunteers.  A few volunteers make sure these locations have plenty of kits and pick up the finished scarves.  We also mail boxes of Magic Balls to knitting groups throughout CA and a few places throughout the US.  

Some participants here and throughout the US, from as far away as FL, use their own stash to make comfort scarves and mail finished scarves to us.  Some scarves need additional work and go to the scarf hospital.  We have a few scarf doctors who add fun fur where necessary, weaves in loose ends, makes sure all the scarves have signed gift tags.  They make sure each comfort scarf is perfect enough to give to an abuse survivor.

Once the scarves are made, another group of volunteers rolls the scarves and ties them with colorful curling ribbon so each scarf becomes a personal gift to its recipient.  On shipping days, once a month, volunteers pack boxes of wrapped scarves for distribution to our 70 shelters for abused and/or homeless women.

Generous donors contribute money to defray the cost of shipping.

Volunteers maintain the website, keep the books, print gift tags, punch holes in the gift tags, drive here and there, and on and on and on.

Yes, Handmade is a huge village.  The responsibility for Handmade’s success doesn’t fall on any single villager.  It takes all of us to get the job done.  All of you have done many of the jobs I just described.   Each of you performs a crucial role that makes our scarf project so successful.

What’s the impact of our scarves?  We do all this work, but what’s the result?  We receive thank you letters from many of our shelters.  The directors tell us how important our scarves are.  Letters from the shelters tell us that the women who receive our scarves can’t believe that someone they don’t even know has made something so beautiful for them.  Receiving one of our scarves lifts their spirits—they arrive at the shelters very depressed, usually with nothing but the clothes on their backs—and receiving a scarf gives them hope.  It makes them receptive to begin the hard work-- therapy and education-- the shelters offer so that their future lives will be abuse free.

Making comfort scarves for abused women and hats for their children makes us feel pretty good too.  We love being creative, productive, helpful, and having an impact on our community.  Hearing how shelters love what we send makes us happy.  Plus, we enjoy each other’s friendship and companionship.  We are busy.  Yes, most of us are retired, but we’re still in the thick of life, making important contributions.  We’re a wonderful team!  I feel so lucky to work with you.  Give yourself a big pat on the back for all you have done and do for abused women by participating in Handmade.  I know we make a difference, and the difference we make is important.  Get ready for another wonderful year in 2023.  Keep your needles clicking!

Love, Leslye

Yes, you read that correctly.  3,125 scarves.  The shipping was huge and it took us 2 weeks to complete.  Already, we are receiving appreciation letters from the shelters and I would like to share some with you.  I want you to know how much the shelters value our scarves.  Please read a few of the letters we’ve received so far.  I picked examples from all over CA.   You will see how grateful the shelters are and how great the need is for our scarves.  Of course, I thank you again and again for all you do to keep our scarf project going.  You’re the greatest.   

Dear Leslye, Words can’t thank you and your talented group of knitters and crochet masters for your continued support of our agency.  It is so sweet and caring that you all ALWAYS think of our clients; whether its Christmas, Mother’s Day, or colder weather.

We are currently making purses stuffed with women hygiene products, accessories and other items for our Moms for Mother’s Day.  These beautiful scarves will be a great addition to the purses.  Clients always love how no two scarves are even the same, when you’re a victim of domestic violence, it is very easy to lose your independence.  When you receive something that is all your own, and no one else has the same one . . . . it’s huge for the transition into finding yourself again.

Thank you again to you and your group for the beautiful, handmade with love items.  Jobi Wood, Community Center Manager FAMILY ASSISTANCE Victorville

Dear Leslye, Thank you for your generous donation of 20 handmade comfort scarves. . . . Knowing that there are people like you who recognize the critical work we do—especially during this unprecedented public health crisis—speaks volumes of your compassion and kindness.  Our mission is to ensure that youth in crisis get the emergency shelter, food, counseling and support services they need.  Doing this requires more than just our staff—it requires YOU. . . . Thank you again for helping us provide hope for a better life to each and every youth who walks through our doors.  Warmest regards, Amy Lakin, Executive Director CASA YOUTH SHELTER  Los Alamitos

Hi Leslye,

Thank you for your generous in-kind donation of 25 comfort scarves for Mother's Day for the Bay Area Crisis Nursery! Your support means so much to the children and families we serve.  We recently heard from the grandmother of a Nursery child. "In these challenging days of our society, it is so uplifting to know that there are caring, kindhearted, and selfless human beings surrounding us," said the grateful grandmother. "You are heroes in my book. Thank you for all you do."

Thank you again for your in-kind gift! Your generosity goes a long way toward making a better future for families in crisis. I enjoy connecting with our supporters, so please feel free to reach out to me with questions or to learn more about the Nursery. You may call 925-685-6633 or email tessa@bayareacrisisnursery.org.  Tessa Rigdon, Development Associate Bay Area Crisis Nursery

Dear Leslye, All of us at Interval House are so touched by your thoughtful giving, and we send you our heartfelt appreciation for your kind gift of 30 comfort scarves.  Our families are so grateful for your special scarves.  Thank you for always thinking of us.  With gratitude, Carol Williams, Executive Director INTERVAL HOUSE, Seal Beach

 

Hello Leslye, Thank you so much for sending us Comfort Scarves for our clients. . .   We appreciate your donation and thank you all again.  Ana Arroyo, Bilingual Support Services Advocate DV/SA NAPA NEWS

Hello Leslye,  We have received the scarfs and kids hats for our Pico De Mayo street fair. I want to thank you for the continued support and donations! The community will be very much happy!  Andrew Mendez, Community Outreach Coordinator andrew@picounionproject.org Pico Union Project

 

Dear Leslye and Friends, We want to take a moment to thank you and your volunteers for donating scarves to WEAVE!  You made a difference in the lives of the most vulnerable in our community. . . . Your donation of 15 comfort scarves were immediately put to use providing support to survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and sex trafficking and their children. . . .Thank you for creating hope and inspiring us all.  Sincerely, Shante Johnson, Director of Philanthropy WEAVE Sacramento

Thank you Leslye for your lovely scarfs once again, what a big surprise I got when I

opened the box. I’m sending you a picture with the scarfs and I added a Mother’s

Day Card to go with it. It would be our first Mother’s Day gift for our clients.

Thanks to everyone involved in making this happen.

Janet DePrima Catholic Charities of Ventura

On behalf of the women, children, Board and staff of La Casa de las Madres, thank you so much for your donation of 40 comfort scarves.  With your support, La Casa will continue to unfailingly respond to domestic violence victims of all ages, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  Thank you.  Sincerely, Kathy Black Executive Director  LA CASA DE LAS MADRES San Francisco

Dear Leslye, We are honored to have been selected as your beneficiary charity to receive 25 handmade comfort scarves for Mother’s Day.  I would like to personally express my thanks and appreciation of your support! . . . . Your generosity is an example of the care and support our commity provides to abused women and families.  We thank you for your commitment to the cause to end domestic violence. . . . Thank you for being a champion to those we serve!  Sincerely, Angelina Coe, Executive Director SHELTER FROM THE STORM Palm Desert

Best wishes to you for a happy Mother’s Day,

Love

Leslye

 

These are not widespread problems, but they come up so I thought this would be a good time to mention them.

-  Please do not tie your finished scarves into a plastic bag when you return it.   It is fine to return your finished scarf in the same bag that the Magic Ball was in; just don’t tie the bag shut.

-  In like manner, please do not tie your gift tag on to the tail of your work.  Please weave in the tail and use a piece of scrap yarn to attach the gift tag.  Here’s how: https://www.handmadeespecially.org/gifttags.html 

-  Please keep food away from the plastic bag that contained your kit.  It is hard to clean the bags and you know we try to reuse everything.  Also, if the loose end of your Magic Ball was taped shut, please don’t put the piece of tape on the plastic bag.  We don’t reuse the tape.  It’s fine if you just throw it away.

-  Try not to knit on the points of your needles.  Knit on the fat part of the needle.  Knitting on the points is the same as using a smaller size needle.  That makes your scarf come out too narrow or too short.

That's it.  Please let me know if you have any questions.

Love, Leslye

Believe it or not, Monday we were still shipping comfort scarves to shelters for Mother’s Day. We shipped 500 scarves to two new (to us) shelters in Orange County. That brings the total scarves shipped for Mother’s Day up to 2,250!!!! Wow. To think we had so many scarves available, made, tagged and wrapped, that at the drop of a hat, all we had to do was put them in boxes for UPS to pick up. Now that makes me HAPPY!

Like the earlier shipping, the individual shelters expressed gratitude at our offer of comfort scarves. Here’s an example. Jessica Arevalo, Community Affairs Associate at PATH Orange County, replied this way: “We would LOVE to receive comfort scarves for our women clients as we are actually planning a self-love, self-care day this month, so the timing is perfect!! 250 is the amount of scarves to send. . . .”

Supporting a self-love day is new for Handmade, but good. I felt chills when I read her note. Honestly, we who have so much just cannot imagine what our gift of comfort scarves means to the women who receive them. If you didn’t give yourself a pat on the back last week (or the week before) for the good work you do lifting the self-esteem of abused women who have sought the protection of a shelter, do it right now. Do it anyway, even if you did it last week and the week before. Your contribution is valuable.

Thank you letters are starting to arrive. Ann has scanned a few and posted them on our website: https://www.handmadeespecially.org/thankyouresponses.html Take a look. You’ll like what you see. After Mother’s Day, I’ll share more notes from shelters, and even some from the women themselves.

Keep your needles clicking!

Love,

Leslye

Happy times are here again!!!  Really.  Yesterday was Handmade’s first group shipping since last March.  Chris, Ann and I did it.  Make sure you’re sitting down.  Here’s the numbers:  1,630 comfort scarves (and one youth blanket) to 34 shelters.  Wow.  But what was great wasn’t just the numbers.  It was working with Chris and Ann.  The team.  Almost like old times.  None of you were wrapping mountains of scarves in the dining room while we were packing the boxes, but there were the three of us.  Phil helped, as always, bringing in box after box of wrapped scarves from the shed.  Aside from working so hard, I think we all felt good getting almost back to normal.  Even the UPS man was happy. 

Of course, thanks to everyone who made such a wonderful day possible—yarn donors, box openers, measurers, winders, wrappers, knitters, crocheters, all of you.  We couldn’t have done it without every one of you and all that you did.  You know what I’m going to say next:  Give yourself a big pat on the back.  Your dedication means a lot to me personally and to all the abuse survivors we serve.

The shelters sense our dedication and love our commitment.  They sent me the most incredible letters requesting our scarves for their Mother’s Day celebrations.  I felt so inspired when I read them.  I want you to feel inspired too, so here are a few examples:

(Hillsides)  What a WONDERFUL email to receive. Thank you so much for including Hillsides. We would love to receive some of your "comfort scarves". Would 50 be too many?   Laura

(Good Shepherd Shelter)  Our moms will be so comforted to receive your Handmade Hugs! Thank you so much!!  Deana

(Coachella Valley Rescue)  We love you scarves!!! Not only do our mothers and single women get them, but we take them with our Outreach Teams and share them in the encampments on the street. We so appreciate them. I would like 100, please

(Union Rescue Mission)  The scarves are all very special to us here and indeed felt like hugs to us too.  They mean a lot to our guests... it's also a token of love for them. One time, one of them also commented,  how people who do not know them, care so much about them, and love them unconditionally through the scarves that they received. So... they do mean a lot for us here!  You can keep the count the same (250 )  Rebeka

   (Weave)  Thank you so much for reaching out and thinking of survivors with your donation! This is truly an amazing gift and would be a perfect addition to helping share kindness, joy, and love on Mother’s day to the mothers who are in our residential programs.  Jordyn

(Building Futures)  It is so good to hear from you.  Thank you for sharing.  The ladies have always loved the hand knitted or crocheted scarves.  How about 35.  Joyce

(Downtown Women’s Center)  Your donated items help us create a safe, comfortable community for women experiencing homelessness across Los Angeles.  We'd be thrilled to offer your lovely scarves to the women we serve for this special celebration. You can ship 100-200 scarves.  Grace

(Gems Uncovered)  I love  ... "Hand Made Hugs"!   So beautiful and the hearts that made them.  We would appreciate 30.  Mary 

(Fred Jordan Mission)  You are all amazing.  We would love to give these out in our Mother Day Gift Bags.  I love the name: Handmade Hugs.  Yes, we do our best to build their self-esteem and to let them know they are not forgotten.  We are planning on putting together 150 gift bags.  Thank you and God Bless,  Cheryl

(Family Assistance)  I am so excited to hear this!! The clients always love and appreciate the scarves they receive from you and your group. I am thinking maybe 50 would do. . . Jobi

Remember, these aren’t the thank you notes.  These are the requests!  I’ll share the thank you notes as they come in.

Keep your needles clicking!

Love,

Leslye

I know you haven’t heard from me in a long time due to the limits on our activities because of our trying not to catch the Covid-19 virus, but now, despite our continued precautions, I have “news” to share with you. 

At the beginning of last week we started our autumn shipping.  We sent 970+ scarves and 200+ hats (both kids and adult) to 19  shelters for abused women.  Despite changes from the way we usually ship, everything went smoothly.  And we are already hearing from happy recipients.  Rewire Community, the newest destination for our scarves, has an interesting and heartwarming story. 

A few weeks ago, Yamini Dixit, the Exec Director, contacted me, asking if we could contribute comfort scarves for their Survivor Care-Kits.  Here’s what hooked me.  As part of their COVID-19 relief efforts, they put together Care-Kits for domestic violence and sexual assault survivors to provide temporary emergency relief.  The kits include items ranging from basic toiletries (brush, cream), to hygiene (masks, sanitizers, sanitary pads), non-perishable food and warm winter items (scarves, blankets), etc.  You can see where we fit in.  They send the kits to local (they’re in San Ramon in N CA) domestic violence agencies as well as local police departments to help during emergencies.  I put them on our shipping list immediately.

So last week, we sent them 50 comfort scarves.  Here’s what Yamini wrote to us in appreciation. 

Dearest Leslye, 

We received 50 beautiful scarves yesterday. The love, compassion and comfort you sent our way is overwhelming, and we are so very grateful to you and the wonderful hands that weave these threads together, connecting us all! . . . .

 

Thank you again!
Yamini 

 

The “wonderful hands” are YOURS so I knew you’d want to read this.  Give yourself a big pat on the back for all the good work you do to help domestic violence survivors everywhere in CA.

Also last week, Phil (my husband) and I went to the Ruth Bader Ginsburg memorial at the Skirball Cultural Center.  The memorial was small, but impactful.  All we could do was drive through, but they did let us stop, get out of our car, and view the memorial more closely.  We went in the afternoon, so it wasn’t too crowded.  I expect it got very crowded in the evening, when they lit all the candles.  Many of you asked if we took any photos, and of course, we did.  I am happy to share them with you.  RBG was a giant in the movement for equality for women.  She inspired me throughout her career.  Her strength on behalf of women in all walks of life will be sorely missed.

Finally, at the suggestion of one of our participants (Handmade’s volunteers are really the greatest!!!), we contacted another new to us shelter, Community’s Child.  Located in nearby Lomita, Community’s Child has been around for 15 years.  I don’t know why we didn’t know about them sooner, but there’s no time like the present.  I had a nice chat with the exec director, Tara Nierenhausen.  She told me they serve 650 families.  They’re planning a drive through Thanksgiving event and want to include our scarves and hats among the items they give to their clients.  Tara asked for 400 kids hats alone, explaining that most of their clients do not have heat.  The kids wear the hats to bed to keep their heads warm.  Her theory is that warm heads help keep the bodies warm and warm bodies prevent sickness.  My grandmother would agree with that kind of sickness prevention.  I always knew our needles were powerful, but this makes them even more so.

I expect/hope more shelters will be opening and we will continue sending out more scarves and more hats in time for the holidays.  We do have a lot in storage (you have been really busy and creative while staying at home), but honestly, we never have enough.  So keep your needles clicking! 

Love,

Leslye

 

Congratulations are in order.  Yes,  to YOU.  Today Handmade did its long-awaited and planned for Mother’s Day shipping.  It wasn’t the heady, exhilarating experience it usually is, with all of us wrapping scarves, packing boxes, printing labels, sealing boxes, and a fun lunch afterwards.  But we were all together today in spirit because for sure, it couldn’t have been done without the participation of so many of you.

Here’s the results:  we shipped 1,465 comfort scarves and 150 health/safety masks to 37 shelters.  Wow.  I’m impressed.  It was a BIG job.  We packed the boxes over two days.  My husband helped.  Ann sealed a lot of the boxes, working alone in our garage.  My husband finished the job.  My house was a wreck.  But somehow, we got the job done.

I think it is incredible that Handmade accomplished so much under such difficult (for us) circumstances.  As you know, volunteers measured yarn in their own homes.  Volunteers wound the Magic Balls, in their own homes.  Volunteers knitted/crocheted scarves in their own homes.  Volunteers wrapped scarves to prepare them for shipping, in their own homes.  We worked very hard individually to achieve this great team effort.  Congratulations to all of us.  We couldn’t have done this without each other.

As for the masks, you may remember a few weeks ago, one of our shelters asked us to make masks for them.  I spread the word and several of our participants stepped up to do so.  So did my neighbor.  And someone I don’t know heard about what we were doing, and made a lot of masks for us to distribute.  In the end, we sent them to 4 shelters.  What a nice addition to the comfort scarves.

It may turn out that more shelters will want comfort scarves than what we have already sent.  Several told me they would like scarves as soon as things open up again.  So we’re not done.  We have a lot ahead of us.  We always have to keep our needles clicking.

You give yourself a big pat on the bag for all you have done to support abused women.

Love,

Leslye

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.  I miss you and all the fun we have working together to help abused women who have sought the protection of a shelter.

If you didn’t know, Handmade has been carrying on almost as usual.  Here’s what we’ve been doing to continue making comfort scarves for abused women.

You know we cannot make Magic Balls without precut fun fur and other novelty yarn.  Paula and Meredith are still cutting the yarn.  The fun fur bins are full.  Sharon is recovered enough from her broken wrist that she can wind skeins of yarn into balls that can be measured.   Bonnie, Karen, and Paula have been picking up bags of yarn from my front porch or side step and measuring the yarn in the comfort of their own homes.  Then they return the measured yarn to me and I put the combinations together so they can make Magic Balls.  I meet you on Wednesdays to share Magic Balls and other kits.  Ann brings kits to the craft group.  Ronnie and Theresa are hosting bins of kits so you have access to them all week long.

Then, in the comfort of your own homes, you knit the scarves.  That is crucial to the success of our ongoing project. 

We receive your finished scarves every Wednesday in our parking lot meetings.  I also get them from Ronnie and Theresa.  Plenty come in the mail and by UPS.  Chris still opens all the boxes.  Chris, Sari, Nancie, and Kayoko pick up boxes of finished scarves, wrap them, and prepare them for shipping.

That catches you up to what’s going on behind the scenes.  We hope you will continue knitting comfort scarves.  Usually at this time we ship almost 2,000 scarves to our 70+ shelters in time for their Mother’s Day parties.  Mother’s Day is a difficult time at the shelters.  Some women miss their families so much they opt to return to their abusive environment.  The shelters try to lessen this tug to return “home” by putting on parties and other positive events.  Our scarves play an important role.  They lift the self-esteem of the women and once the women decide to stay at the shelter, increase their hope for a future without abuse.

Before the ‘shelter in place’ recommendation for preventing the spread of COVID-19, we planned to ship scarves on April 23.  I think we should push this back a week to April 30.  Mother’s Day is May 10 so we can take the additional week.   I have written to all the shelters, asking which are still open (some have had to close due to lack of staff), if they are even going to have parties, how many scarves do they need, etc.  Once we receive their answers, we will know how many scarves we actually need.     

Please, please continue making comfort scarves.  What you are doing behind the scenes is so important for the ongoing success of our project.  Keep up the good work.

Finally, stay healthy.  Observe the 6-feet of separation rule, wash your hands frequently, don’t touch your face, wear a mask if you go out.  So far, no one in our group has come down with this virus and I hope that good news continues!   

Love,

Leslye

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Handmade ended 2019 on a very high note.  The final count:  12,575 scarves shipped; 3,000 hats shipped; almost 500 baby items shipped.  We have money in the bank, yarn in our inventory, and some scarves and some hats ready to ship in January.  Of course, we need more.

We had a lot of fun at our annual holiday party last night.  Chef Luis at Misto Caffe served us a wonderful meal.  The food was great and the company even better.

All the photos are posted in the Photo Gallery showing that:

I spoke, but not too long,

We socialized,

And, we cemented friendships.

We’re ready for another great year in 2020. 

Love,
Leslye

October (almost over) is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  I’ve wanted to write some pithy comments about how, over the years we’ve been distributing our comfort scarves, the problem of domestic violence, partner abuse, or whatever you want to call it, has decreased.  It would be really great if that were the case.  But it isn’t.  There is more domestic violence, date rape, and trafficking than when we started Handmade, but there is also a lot more talking about it.  The increase in violence is terrible for what it says about our society, but the increase in talking about it is good.  People in general are more aware that it goes on.  There is more recognition that women are not the property of their husbands or partners and cannot/should not be ruled by them.  There is more understanding that intimate partner violence is due not to too much alcohol and/or drugs, but is a method of control, of the man exercising his “power” over the woman.  Yes, this is exacerbated by alcohol and drugs, but not caused by them.  Thus, the solution cannot be simply to send the man to AA or drug rehab.  Social workers, psychologists, and family therapists agree that attitudes toward women need to change, that change should occur in schools, and especially in homes.  

The #MeToo movement has done a lot to increase talking about the difference in power between men and women in the workplace; now these discussions are carrying over to discussions about more equality in the home.  In previous “October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month” messages, I have written that boys who watched their fathers abuse their mothers learned how to become abusers themselves, that girls who watched their mothers take the abuse learned to become victims.  Now I’m sharing the obverse:  social scientists have observed that boys learn how to be good husbands, good partners, good men when they watch their fathers treat their mothers well.  In like manner, women who stand up for themselves teach their daughters that women can be powerful and independent.  More shelters use these axioms in working with the children who arrive with their mothers.  They offer a 2-year program of learning to live without violence.   They believe that teaching the children the alternatives to growing up to be abuser or victim will break the cycle of domestic violence, which so far, continues from one generation to the next. 

Other important changes are going on as well.  In 2008, when we started Handmade, the idea was that if a woman was abused, she should seek the protection of a shelter.  Now, the pendulum is swinging in the opposite direction.  Why is that?  Reason Number One.  There aren’t enough shelters to house all the women who need protection.  For instance, Rainbow Services, (the first shelter to which Handmade donated comfort scarves), turned away 900 requests last year alone.  Eve Sheedy, executive director of Los Angeles County’s Domestic Violence Council, reports that in LA County there are only 2,000 emergency and transitional shelter beds yet the Los Angeles Police Department receives and investigates more than 15,500 reports of intimate partner violence every year.  This is a huge gap between supply and need. 

Organizations that serve abused women have had to make a virtue of this reality.    The prevailing view now argues that women shouldn’t have to go into hiding.  Women and children shouldn’t be the ones “imprisoned” in shelters while abusers move around freely.  Increasingly, women, and women with their children, shelter in their own homes.  This is less disruptive for them, because they don’t have to make the hard choice of abandoning their friends and family for the sake of safety.   Their children can continue at the same schools without a break.  And, as we have read above, they have nowhere else to go.  Beds at the shelters are full. 

Changing societal attitudes support this solution.  Long before Handmade came into existence, police were part of the good old boy network.  When domestic violence calls came in, they regarded them as from “hysterical” women who didn’t know their place or just needed to calm down.  They didn’t take restraining orders seriously.  Now, restraining orders are more effective.  They are easier for women to get, especially since the personnel at many shelters help women steer through the complicated maze of the legal system.  In addition, police are more prepared to enforce them (although we have read many newspaper articles about murders of women who did have restraining orders against their abusers and the police didn’t or couldn’t enforce those orders).  More police departments have domestic violence units and send a team composed of specially trained officers and a domestic violence service provider to answer domestic violence calls.  Answering these calls is very dangerous for police, since they don’t know if the abuser is armed. 

I have described a mixed picture.  Some things are getting better, some are not.  More women are protected; more women are killed.  What can we do to keep the improvements going?  

As participants or supporters of Handmade Especially for You, I want you to know we are still making and distributing comfort scarves.  Last week Handmade shipped 600 comfort scarves, 299 kid’s hats, and 176 baby items to 23 different shelters for abused women throughout CA.  As a result, our year to date totals grew to:  8,120 comfort scarves; 1,708 kid’s hats, and 481 baby items.  Sit down when you read the next numbers.  They’re incredible.  Since the end of 2008, when Handmade started, we shipped 123,875 comfort scarves; 9,653 kid’s hats, and 2,035 baby items.  This isn’t enough to cover the calls the Los Angeles Police Department receives every year, but it’s a lot.  Women who receive our comfort scarves feel stronger, more able to make the hard choice in favor of education and therapy to work toward a future without abuse.  Children who receive our hats know others care for them and want them to grow up without experiencing or observing abuse.  

It takes more than the 18 people who participated in our wrapping/shipping party last week to achieve this.   Handmade’s team is widespread, from our “locals” to volunteers all over CA and the rest of the US.  We have many, many dedicated volunteers and supporters who cheer on our making of comfort scarves and hats.  But we can and should do more. 

I received the following message from supporters of the Violence Against Women Act.  This act was passed in 1994 and expired earlier this year.  The House of Representatives passed a bill to reauthorize it, but it has been suppressed in Senate.  If you’re a Californian, contact our senators, Diane Feinstein https://www.feinstein.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/e-mail-me and Kamala Harris https://www.harris.senate.gov/contact/email, who already support the reauthorization of this bill, urging them to keep pressure on the leaders of the Senate to bring up this bill for a vote.  If you’re in another state, contact your senators.  

The bill has several benefits given our interest in reducing the incidents of intimate partner domestic violence.  It 

expands the definition of a domestic abuser to include current and former dating partners 

prohibits those convicted of abuse from buying or owning guns (closes the “boyfriend loophole” 

includes additional protections for college students, immigrants, Native Americans and LGBTQ victims

I know this is a lot to ask when I also want you “to keep your needles clicking.”  We are strong and determined women.  We can accomplish a lot.  I’m counting on you.  And so are all the women and children who experience domestic violence here in CA.

Thanks in advance for all you do to help them.

Love, 

Leslye

 

   Blog here.

What a day!  Today we shipped 1,860 comfort scarves to 53 shelters for abused women.  We packed the boxes from a veritable mountain of comfort scarves.  Do you see one you made in the pile?  Take a look at the photo of today's shipping in our photo gallery to see if you can find one of yours.  

Handmade’s huge team of volunteers achieved this. 

18 were present today doing the wrapping and shipping work, but many others have been working behind the scenes, all around the US and locally, in their own homes, or at other work days at my house.  You know all the clichés to get this amount of work accomplished: “ It takes a village,” etc. but it really does.  Here’s a list of what members of Handmade’s village do to make sure we have enough comfort scarves to send to shelters for abused women: 

Donate yarn

Measure yarn and fun fur

Wind measured yarn into kits

Knit and crochet kits

Knit and crochet their own yarn

Teach volunteers who don’t know how to knit

Make the gift tags, punch the holes

Open boxes

Cut curling ribbon

Wrap scarves

Put gift tags on scarves, hats and other items

Add fringe, etc. to scarves that need it

Buy shipping boxes

Pack boxes

Do the accounts

Manage the website

Keep the Facebook page up to date

Do the taxes

Come to lunch, contribute food

Come to Michael’s, contribute energy

Donate $$$

Anything else I’ve forgotten (by mistake)

 

The Handmade team is the greatest.  Thank you all. 

Keep up the good work.  We still have a lot to do before the end of the year.  In October, we have a small shipping, only about 500 scarves, but the biggest shipping will be in November.  Our scarves and hats are very popular at holiday parties at the shelters.  So keep your needles clicking.

Thanks in advance. 

Love, 

Leslye

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The Handmade team is a wonderful group.  I always appreciate what everyone does.  Each participant does her best and tries her hardest to make our scarf project successful.  The abused women who have sought the protection of a shelter always appreciate our efforts.  I value all contributions but what happened today (and actually over the past few weeks) really deserves special mention.  Here’s the story.  Hope you have some tissues nearby.

At the end of July, Sally Flowers, at that time a would-be participant of Handmade, saw our bin at the Anza Barber Shop.  Here’s what she wrote to me:  I have had to move my Mom in with me as she has spent the last month in hospital. I have a lot of yarn and would like to know if we can donate that to you and your organization?

Of course, I told her Handmade wanted the yarn.  Much to my surprise, in addition to 5 huge bags of yarn, Sally included many partially finished projects started by her mother.  The projects were crocheted squares of cute images, birds, elves, gift boxes, roses, etc.  Because they were crocheted, I sent them to Joanne Garlick, a long-time Handmade volunteer who often crochets 100 scarves for us each month.  I didn’t know what Joanne would do with them, but I knew if they could be made into something useful for abused women, Joanne would do it. 

Today, our volunteers opened many boxes containing scarves, yarn, and the blankets Joanne made from the squares I sent her.  The newly made blankets were incredible.  I could hardly believe my eyes.  All “work” stopped so we could admire the blankets.   Usually, when I thank Joanne for each shipment of scarves she sends, I ask her if she can hear us cheering at the beauty and quality of her work.  Today, we called her so she could hear us herself.  What a moment.  All the volunteers shouted “Thank you,” “they’re beautiful,” and honestly, Joanne and I both were crying due to happy emotions.

 

Later, Joanne sent me this email: 

Thank you so much for the phone call and the cheers.

It was overwhelming to hear and know that my little effort was so well received.

I thank God for the talent that He gave me and the yarn you send so that I can be creative with all things.

Sometimes I get a few surprises in the boxes you send but God willing I figure it out.

Enjoy your time and a big Thank you.

God Bless You all and love, Joanne

AND, then later, I received this email response from Sally:

Thank you so much for the note... I read it to Mom and she is so happy that someone can finish the pieces we sent (if you get more photos that would be nice too) 

I know you will want to see the blankets.  Ann photographed a few this morning and posted them in our website's Photo Gallery.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all Handmade participants, their mothers, daughters, sisters, husbands, sons, brothers, and friends.  

I often write about terrible things that happen to women who are abused, sex slaves, involved in trafficking, etc.  Today I want to write about wonderful things happening to Handmade.  Since our huge Mother’s Day shipping at the end of April, we have been receiving many emails, letters, and thank you notes with the most heart-warming comments.  I want to share a few of them with you to make your Mother’s Day celebration even happier.  

Barry Klein, owner of Trendsetter Yarns, one of Handmade’s most generous yarn donors, wrote in response to my newsletter/blog about Handmade’s Mother’s Day shipping (2,060 comfort scarves to 60 shelters): “Amazing what your group does.  Honored to be a part.”  Obviously, Handmade couldn’t make comfort scarves without lots and lots of yarn.  We’re so grateful to companies like Trendsetter, Skacel, and Brown Sheep who donate miles and miles of yarn.  Your contributions assure that there will be plenty of comfort scarves to come!  

Daniela Luna, Senior Childcare Specialist, at AVDVC (Antelope Valley Domestic Violence Center), shared this beautiful note:  

My name is Daniela and I am reaching out to you from AVDVC to thank you for the absolutely beautiful scarves. We are saving the majority to hand out for Mother's Day but did hand out a few to some participants that were having a hard day and needed a pick me up. One of our youngest participants is 7 years old. She chose the purple scarf because she said it was beautiful and that she had learned in school that blue and red make purple. Our other participants wanted to thank you for making such beautiful color combinations. Both young ladies stated that they found the exact colors they love and can't wait to wear their new scarves that will be perfect accessories for the Spring and a nice addition in the Winter. We appreciate all you do, included you will find some photos we would like to share with you. Faces aren't shown for confidentiality purposes. Thanks again for thinking of us.  

Kind regards, 

Daniela Luna

 

You can see the photo of the child mentioned above with her “purple” scarf on our Facebook page.

 

 

Jody Winger, from the San Gabriel Valley YWCA sent a darling card, with the following note inside: 

Thank you, ladies, so much.  Our clients love the scarves.  We’ve also given some to our homebound seniors that needed warmth.  They love them too.  You ladies are awesome to think of our clients.  Thank you again! 

Joanne, from Sunnyvale, one of our most prolific scarfers, sent us this note:  

I just finished reading the e-mail that we shipped 2,060 scarves.  My thanks to all for their help in getting out that many.  As a survivor I know what it feels like to receive such kindness.  So please send my thanks to all the gals that do the behind the scenes work, too. 

It means so much to Joanne to participate in our scarf project.  She is grateful to be able to help others who are in the situation she experienced in the 1970s.  FYI, at least 25% of Handmade’s participants are abuse survivors themselves.  They want to give back.  

Another scarf maker, Joanna, from Carlsbad, who viewed domestic violence in her childhood, makes this promise: 

I’ll send hats & scarves on an every-other month basis!  You can count on me.  Domestic Violence is a cause near to my heart.  I’m a child of domestic violence in the home.  So, I feel for the women and children. 

Handmade’s other (non-abuse surviving) participants are just as dedicated.  Some contribute on a daily basis, some weekly, some monthly, some every other month, some whenever they can get it together.  It doesn’t matter.  Abuse doesn’t follow the calendar.  It occurs all the time.  Handmade ships comfort scarves to shelters nine months a year.  We fill the boxes one scarf at a time.  Every scarf counts. 

Isidore November, one of our rare male scarfers, is a manager at the AT&T call center in Tustin.  Due to his dedication to Handmade, several employees there make monthy monetary donations to us.  In addition, Izzy leads an Orange County knitting group, called the Fiberistas.  They just donated a huge amount of scarves, hats and baby items.  I sent them my regular thank you letter, which I know many of you receive all the time, and Izzy replied:  

My ladies and I consider it an honor to be able to contribute to Handmade. . . We consider making comfort scarves a labor of love. 

Imagine that, people are “honored” to participate in Handmade.  Shelters are thrilled to receive from Handmade.  I agree.  We are a great group of people.  And I am honored to be associated with all of you.  Thank you again and again for all you do for Handmade.  I too am thrilled to participate. 

These are some of the “Handmade” reasons I will really enjoy celebrating Mother’s Day this weekend.  Of course, I have additional “family” reasons that will enhance my enjoyment of the day.  I hope you enjoy however you celebrate it too. 

Love, 

Leslye

 

 

My buttons are popping.  I’m so proud of Handmade and of every volunteer who participates in our scarf project.  Last week we shipped 2,060 comfort scarves to 59 shelters for abused women throughout CA.  That was a huge effort!  Our scarves arrived in plenty of time for Mother’s Day parties at the shelters.  And we’ve already received several appreciative notes.  

Here’s one from Kitty Glass, Community Outreach Coordinator at JFS, Hope: 

I want to thank you and your wonderful knitters for the beautiful scarves you sent us.  Our clients will be so thrilled and we’re in the process of assembling gift bags for Mother’s Day for the women and will include your gorgeous scarves.  We’re deeply appreciative to you all for your outstanding commitment to serving domestic violence survivors in this very special way. 

The staff at JFS{Hope joins me in thanking you so very much again and wish you all a beautiful spring. 

Warmly,

Kitty 

Kitty Glass

Community Outreach Coordinator

JFS{Hope

kglass@jfsla.org

www.jfsla.org

 

As a result of attending the panel discussion on human trafficking at the beginning of the month, we sent 30 comfort scarves to GEMS UNCOVERED, an organization that provides a drop in center for teens and women held in sexual slavery.  Mary E White, the CEO, was very happy to receive our scarves.  Here’s what she wrote: 

The beautiful scarves arrived today and in time to share them with the young ladies in our program.  They were thrilled to receive such a beautiful gift.

 

Thank you for your kindness and sending love to the clients.

 

Gratefully,

 

Mary E. White, President/Chief Executive Officer

Gems Uncovered

 www.gemsuncovered.org

 

Office: 1136 E. Pacific Coast Hwy, Long Beach, CA  90806

Program Resource Center: 1140 E. Pacific Coast Hwy, Long Beach, CA  90806

Main Office number:  562-912-4992

                                                                  

I am very moved by notes like these.  Our needles are very powerful.  I’m glad they have the impact we hope.  It’s not just needles that turn yarn into comfort scarves.  It takes a lot of people, each making different contributions, to make our comfort scarves.  I want to thank all those who: 

Donate yarn

Measure yarn and fun fur

Wind measured yarn into kits

Knit and crochet kits

Knit and crochet their own yarn

Teach volunteers who don’t know how to knit

Make the gift tags, punch the holes

Open boxes

Cut curling ribbon

Wrap scarves

Put gift tags on scarves, hats and other items

Add fringe, etc. to scarves that need it

Buy shipping boxes

Pack boxes

Do the accounts

Manage the website

Keep the Facebook page up to date

Do the taxes

Come to lunch, contribute food

Come to Michael’s, contribute energy

Donate $$$

Anything else I’ve forgotten (by mistake) 

The Handmade team is the greatest.  Thank you all. 

Our next shipping will be in May.  It will be a small shipping, only about 600 scarves.  Then we’ll start gathering scarves for shipping in the fall and for the holidays.  So no chance to rest on our laurels.  Keep your needles clicking. 

Love, 

Leslye 

Ship your finished scarves, yarn you want to donate, and/or $$$ to: 

Handmade Especially for You c/o Leslye Borden

30065 Grandpoint Lane

Rancho Palos Verdes CA 90275 

Handmade is a 501(c)3 charity.  We always send a receipt for your taxes. 

So, KEEP YOUR NEEDLES CLICKING!

I want to tell you about the program about human trafficking I attended last week.  I found it very moving and I think you will too.   Several of our shelters (My City and Ruby’s Place immediately come to mind) cater especially to rescuing young women who have been trapped into being sexual slaves.  As a result, I think knowing about sexual trafficking is important for Handmade. 

Being a sexual slave means the girls belong to their pimp 100%.  They depend on him for love, food, clothing, shelter, emotional support—everything.  He gains control over them in several ways:  first, the Romeo method.  He connects with them outside of schools, at the mall, the park, the library, wherever a young girl might go who has no where else to go.  He looks for girls who appear to be loners, and offers them friendship, at first; then food and shelter; then love; and finally, the offer of a great future together with all the money she can make by selling herself on the street.  The girls (frequently very young (as young as 12 or 13) are naïve, have low self-esteem, may come from dysfunctional families) are thrilled by the attention and especially by the suggestion of building a secure future together.  They fall for the spiel, hook, line and sinker.  

A second way the pimp gains control over girls is by the Gorilla method.  He verbally brow beats her, physically beats her, and controls her in every way.  The girl, without experience or other resources, feels her only choice is to obey.  The alternative is too painful.  A third method of control combines the first two:  the pimp begins as Romeo and becomes a Gorilla to keep the girl in line.  

After an introduction explaining what human trafficking is, Tangelia, a survivor spoke to us (frequently on the verge of tears) about her experience.  The youngest of 4 children with drug-addicted parents, she was in foster care for most of her childhood.  When she turned 18 and was emancipated from the foster care system, she had no where to go, no place to sleep, no program to organize her life, no resources to help her.  She fell through the cracks, an excellent target for a trafficker.  At first, her pimp romanced her, bought her presents, clothes, and most importantly, gave her a place to sleep.  As (what she thought was) their relationship developed, he offered her the great opportunity to build an empire with him.  She worked hard, and as she did, he turned his attention to other girls, romancing and recruiting them.  She was crushed.  She became suicidal.  As her attempts at suicide increased, she became a liability to him so he dropped her, literally, by leaving her on a street corner in NY City, with no resources, friends, or anything.  A stranger found her and contacted her sister in Los Angeles.  Her sister sent her a ticket to come back to LA where she got into trouble, was arrested, etc.  Luckily for her, instead of going to trial, she met with a social worker, a lawyer, and Mary White, the founder of Gems Uncovered.  This dedicated group worked together to save her.  She didn’t go to jail or prison; she went to therapy.  Now, she advocates for other young women who have been rescued from trafficking. 

After Tangelia spoke, Detective Satwan Johnson, of the Long Beach PD, came to the podium and told us about the methods pimps use to recruit girls (he showed us the easy availability of pimp manuals and a U-tube video on how to be a successful pimp), the extensive use of social media to sell sex, and what we citizens can do to combat sexual trafficking.  Most striking was his description of the movement away from individuals in gangs selling drugs (which carries a lot of risk) to individual pimps commanding a harem selling sex (much less risky) that has a very high payoff for the pimp.  The example he used was a pimp with 6 girls in his harem, each girl making (at the low end) $500 a day, when multiplied out, means he grosses over $1 million a year.  Using social media to make the sales means the pimp is much harder to locate and arrest.  Johnson cited statistics showing the high number of arrests he made when he started these investigations 11 years ago.   Now that social media plays such a big role in the “industry,” The number of arrests are declining.  He spoke directly to the audience, telling us what we can do to combat sexual trafficking: 

          Pay attention to what your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews are doing on-line

          Contact your local council representatives to demand investigating trafficking

          Make sure your school board includes programs about trafficking in the regular curriculum, along with sex education, STDs, bullying, etc. 

Quite a few of the shelters to which we donate our scarves take in girls (and boys) rescued from trafficking.  Up until attending this program, I thought the young people involved were smuggled in from foreign countries, especially Thailand.  I was so mistaken.  Like domestic violence, sexual trafficking hits every community, every racial group, every religious group, and every socio-economic group.  The methods are quite the same—romance, isolation, physical control, emotional deprivation and control.  After the program, I met Mary White, the founder of Gems Uncovered.  In 2012, she opened a Drop-In Center where trafficked girls can go for safety, and then for therapy, education, clothing, shelter (in the same way as domestic violence survivors flee from their abusive environments to shelters).  She was happy to hear about our scarf project.  Of course, we will include her center on our list of scarf recipients.  Tangelia, too.  A few years ago, Shannon, an abuse survivor who graduated from Rainbow’s program, spoke to our group in the same emotional way Tangelia spoke.   They both are survivors, but they carry with them the permanent scars of their experiences.  I’m glad a scarf helped Shannon.  Remember, she kept it long after she graduated.  I think Tangelia will value her scarf too. 

I know this was a lot to read, but really, I was so moved by the program, I just had to share it with you.  FYI, the program covered sexual trafficking only.  There’s also industrial, agricultural, and domestic (slavery) trafficking as well, all topics for another time. 

Handmade is getting ready to ship comfort scarves to shelters in time for their Mother’s Day parties.  Our shipping date is April 25.  We hope to have around 2,000 scarves to share with our 70 shelters.  It would be great if you could get your finished scarves to us by then, however, don’t worry if you can’t.  Abuse doesn’t follow the calendar.  If your scarves arrive too late for our Mother’s Day shipping, we’ll be shipping again in May. 

Keep your needles clicking.  Thanks for all you do to support Handmade Especially for You.  

Love, 

Leslye 

Ship your finished scarves to: 

Handmade Especially for You c/o Leslye Borden

30065 Grandpoint Lane

Rancho Palos Verdes CA 90275 

Handmade is a 501(c)3 charity.  We will send a receipt for your donations.

 

We enjoyed a wonderful wrapping party last Thursday.  We wrapped a mountain of comfort scarves, in preparation for our Feb 21 shipping.  We also celebrated Lunar New Year, with a Chinese inspired lunch.  Many dishes (such as bok choy with shitake mushrooms or Chinese broccoli with oyster sauce) symbolized health in the new year.  From our card, I think you can see there will be a lot of comfort scarves in our future, thanks to YOU.   We had a lot of fun at the party as you will see at our website's Photo Gallery page, http://www.handmadeespecially.org/photogallery.html

 

After the party, we had a short meeting.  We discussed planning our shipping more, buying boxes to accommodate the scarves we’re actually sending, what we spent in 2018, and improving the quality of our scarves.  Our scarves are really great and for the most part beautiful and perfect, but every once in a while a mistake occurs that really throws us.  For instance, we saw a few Magic Balls where there was no A yarn in the novelty yarn section.  If you see a Magic Ball with that problem, please make sure to turn it.  Don’t spend your time and energy knitting it.  Or another example where one end of the scarf was knitted with the A yarn and the novelty yarn while the other end included the B yarn and the novelty yarn.  Remember, both ends must match.  We kit makers are human.  We do make mistakes.  We hope that you will catch them.  We want to ship only perfect scarves to our shelters.  At the end of the meeting, we agreed to have more meetings, make them more inclusive and keep them casual.  Please, if you have suggestions as to how Handmade can improve, share them with us.  Thanks in advance.

 

Our next wrapping party will celebrate Valentine’s Day, even though a little late, Feb. 21.  I’m planning an all chocolate menu, even for the main dishes and the salads.  Also for dessert.  Sounds like fun to me.  Mark your calendar.  We’d love for you to be with us.

 

Thanks for supporting Handmade Especially for You.

 

Love,

 

Leslye

 

 

Happy New Year.  All our best wishes to you and yours for a happy and healthy 2019.

Handmade started 2019 in a big way.  Last Thursday, we shipped 1,830 comfort scarves to 56 shelters for abused women throughout CA.  You can see the riot of beautiful comfort scarves cascading out of the box in the photo below.  What we do on shipping days is one group wraps scarves in the dining room and another group packs the wrapped scarves into boxes.  We want to make sure that all the scarves in each box are different from each other, so once they are wrapped, we spill them out onto the floor of our family room, so we can pick individual scarves.  My spirits always rise when I see all the different scarves, different colors, different stitches, different patterns, made by so many wonderful and dedicated volunteers from all over the US.  Thank you all so much.

You can sense all the excitement of shipping.  Notice all the boxes in the background, just waiting for attention.

We have already received notes from shelters in appreciation of what we sent.  Here’s an especially nice one from Fatima Donato, Volunteer Services Coordinator at Tri-Valley Haven in Livermore, CA.  We sent that shelter 20 scarves: 

Thank you for your organization’s thoughtful donation of 20 comfort scarves for our shelter clients! These scarves will surely make the women and children utilizing our services feel cared for and supported. I will get the scarves to the shelter, and will make certain to pass along our client’s thanks when I hear from shelter staff. 

Thank you to the wonderful leadership and volunteers at Handmade Especially for You, for utilizing your time and talent to respond to the greater community’s needs in such a warm and compassionate manner.  Many thanks, 

Fatima Donato, Volunteer Services Coordinator

Tri-Valley Haven

Livermore, CA 94550

www.trivalleyhaven.org

 

Angelina Coe, Executive Director of Shelter from the Storm in Palm Desert CA thanked us in a similar manner for the 20 scarves we sent there.  We shipped the scarves only a few days ago and already we are receiving enthusiastic appreciations.  We must be doing something really right.  

All the scarves we sent, all the scarves you see in the above photo, were made by volunteers just like you, maybe even made by you.  Do you recognize a scarf you made in the photo?  Some volunteers contribute lots and lots of scarves on a regular basis.  Some send just a few, whenever they can.  No matter which kind of volunteer you are, Handmade appreciates what you do.  We reach our goal ONE SCARF AT A TIME. 

Just to put this all in perspective, I must tell you that last week’s shipping brings the total number of scarves we’ve shipped since the end of 2008 (when we started) to 117,585!  You didn’t misread the number.  I didn’t put the comma in the wrong place.  Yes, we’ve shipped 117,585 comfort scarves.  That means we all contributed a lot, whatever our contributions are. 

We’re not done yet.  Here’s our New Year’s Resolution:  keep making and sending comfort scarves to all the shelters for abused women in CA.  I also hope the number of scarves needed will decline, due to a decline in the number of abused women.  Realistically, that might not happen, but at best we can try to help all those who seek the protection of a shelter. 

Thanks for participating in Handmade Especially for You.  Our needles are very powerful.  Keep them clicking! 

Love, 

Leslye

 

 

 

Story Number 1:

I mentioned in my last message to you that Handmade was sending 85 hats to the Telfair Elementary School in Pacoima.  This school is special because 46% of its students are HOMELESS, yes, you read it correctly, HOMELESS.  It’s hard to imagine how homeless children can pay attention during class when they are wonderful where they will sleep.  The idea boggles my mind.  As you know, I felt badly that we had only 85 hats to send, not enough for every student.  I even checked the shed to see if there was a stray box we missed.  But there wasn’t.  So, last night, we packed up the box, sealed it up, and got it ready to take to UPS today.

That’s not the end of the saga, however.  This morning, when I went out to get the newspaper, there was a box on my doorstep from Gloria Botten, a volunteer in St. Augustine FL who knits only hats for us (completely darling, colorful hats).  Manna from heaven I thought.  Of course, I ripped open the box, rewrote the letter and shipping label, and added Gloria’s 30 hats.  I knew it still wasn’t enough, but. . . .

 

I wrote to the Principal, Jose Razo, alerting him that the box was on its way, and also that there weren’t enough hats for every student.  Here’s what he wrote back:

 

Thank you for your email and support. 115 hats are more than the 0 I have now.  So I very much appreciate it. 

 

Respectfully,

José Razo

Principal

Telfair Elementary

 

His note made me feel a lot better about not being able to send a hat for each child.  If you find yourself wanting to use yarn over the holidays, making few hats would be great.  We can always ship again.

 

Story Number 2:

I think you all remember back to the summer when Cathy Yamasaki donated so much fabulous yarn for making Magic Balls and comfort scarves.  Yesterday she sent me an email:  I am driving up to Paradise to drop donations at Christmas.  If anyone wants to donate small items, socks, gift cards, whatever, I will be happy to include in the drop.  This is how I am spending the holiday so let me know! . . . . .  I'm mostly taking socks, hygiene items, (trying to find inexpensive blankets and towels) toys and whatever makes practical sense.  They don't want food but if I can get it together to bake, I will bring that up.  Just a lot of folks needing help and the resources are stretched. 

 

What an incredible way to spend the holidays.  To me, that is the essence of the “Christmas spirit.”  Here’s her contact info if you have anything you want to add to the load she’s taking up to Paradise.  email: cathy.lee.yamasaki@gmail.com  cell:  (310) 503-4631

 

I always say that Handmade participants are really incredible.  Most volunteer not just for Handmade but for a variety of other causes as well.  Our group consists of “giving” people.  Thanks to all of you for being who you are.

 

Story Number 3:

Handmade’s final totals:

 

Since we started at the end of 2018:  115,755 scarves; 7,404 hats, 1,554 baby items, 81 youth blankets.

 

2018 alone:  11,770  scarves, 2,184 hats, 696 baby items, 81 youth blankets.

 

2018 holiday season:  3,520 scarves, 296 hats

 

No wonder you’re tired.  Maybe you feel worn out.  You did a lot.  We accomplished a lot.  Thanks to all.

 

Almost time for a well-deserved break.

 

Love,

Leslye

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I always use this occasion to write something relating to current social issues and Handmade’s making comfort scarves for abused women.  The issues this year are particularly impactful due to the controversy surrounding the confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh as Justice of the Supreme Court of the US. 

The hearings by the Senate Judiciary Committee bring to the fore issues about domestic violence, sexual violence and harassment.  I think many of you watched them.  I watched all 8 hours.  If you didn’t watch the entire proceedings, I bet you read about them, heard about them or saw snippets on TV.  It was wrenching to listen to the statements of each witness.  The testimony evoked a huge response in me, and maybe in you, too. 

Here’s what I remembered as I listened to the testimony.  When I was 11, on a family vacation to Washington DC, we visited my father’s aunt and uncle.  They had a 17-year old son, star of his football team and certainly well-loved in our family.  He, the cousin, invited me to “go upstairs” with him.  He took me to a room higher than the second floor, an upstairs I didn’t know existed even though we had visited his house many times before.  The room was sparsely furnished but it had a bed and he laid me down on it.  He got on top of me, rubbed himself up and down until he was satisfied, got off and warned me sternly “not to tell” what had happened.  

I was only 11.  I didn’t have words to tell “what happened” even if I wanted to.  So I didn’t say anything at the time of the event.  When I was older and understood the experience, I did tell my father.  I expected him to be outraged on my behalf and sympathetic given my age and the trauma of the experience.  But all he said was that the man who pleasured himself on top of me “was his favorite cousin.”  We never mentioned it again.  As I listened to Dr. Ford’s testimony, the memory of what happened to me when I was 11 returned in amazing detail.  Hearing the dismissive responses to her testimony that followed: “there was no penetration,” “boys will be boys,” “he was only 17” echoed what I heard when I finally came forward and told what happened to me.  

From what I have read and heard subsequently, I know Dr. Ford’s testimony evoked dramatic memories in other women too.  Whether or not Judge Kavanaugh is confirmed as a justice of the Supreme Court pales in significance to what I think will be the roar of women coming forward, telling their stories of abuse, harassment, and rape by men and boys, stories that have gone unmentioned and if mentioned, disregarded.  What we should do about this attitude that ignores, buries, dismisses such events is the important question we all must deal with now.  I feel we have to change people’s (men’s and women’s) attitudes toward women and their positions vis a vis men.  In school.  In the workplace.  And most of all, in our homes. 

What I am writing today has nothing to do with what I think about Ford’s testimony or Kavanaugh’s defense or even the outcome of the hearings.  It has to do with what I remember as a result of these hearings.  With what I have heard that other women remembered.  With what you remember.  My experience as an 11-year old girl was serious and hurtful.   I wouldn’t want any other11-year old, or 12-year old, or 13- or 14- or 15- or 16-year old girl to experience anything like what I or Dr. Ford or maybe even you went through.  When we share our stories, I hope that no one replies “that was so long ago” or “boys will be boy” or “that was my favorite cousin.” 

A startling fact regarding domestic violence brings these thoughts full circle.  Boys who watch the man in the house abuse their mother learn to be abusers themselves.  Girls who see their mother being abused learn to be victims.  Many of the shelters have programs to help children break this cycle so that abuse becomes an unlearned (not a learned) way to live.  This intersection of our lives and domestic violence is where we play an important role.   We wives, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins must show our husbands, daughters, sons, granddaughters, grandsons, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, and cousins that we are valuable human beings, that we contribute to society and to each other in every way that we can.  The children are watching.  We want to break the cycle of domestic violence, rape, and sexual harassment. 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  I will continue to think about these issues as I make comfort scarves.  I hope you will too. 

Love, 

Leslye                                                                                 

What a day yesterday.  We shipped 1,995 comfort scarves to 52 shelters for abused women.  Incredible.

We did this thanks to Handmade’s fabulous volunteers.  I always say “It takes a village” and it really does.  However you contribute makes the success of our scarf project possible and helps abused women who have sought the protection of a shelter.

Prior to our shipping, I queried a few shelters trying to find out how many scarves each wanted.  Maribel Amaya, a civic engagement trainer at the Korean Youth Community Center, replied with a heartwarming appreciation for what we do.  She wrote:  the mothers in our Building Stronger program have been deeply touched with the beautiful scarves. Please feel free to send 75 to 100 scarves if possible. At our Menlo Family Center we have multiple program whom would greatly  be comforted by such as beautiful gesture. I appreciate your wonderful time and effort. We are happy with the scarves you send our way. Thank you for your heart and generosity in spreading the joy of love to others.   

Happily, we had enough scarves to supply them with 75.

Kathi Bowman, Executive Director of WISEPlace, a new shelter in Orange County, surprised me with her reply.  Here’s what she wrote:  thank you so much for reaching out. You may have heard or read that we are now housing an additional 50-60 women in our gym in an emergency 24 hour per day shelter. This is as a result of the people who were removed from the river bed and the Santa Ana Civic Center area needing a temporary place to live. With that being said, while we would just need 35 scarves for our regular program participants, it would be wonderful if you could supply the scarves to the women in our emergency shelter (SAFEPlace) as well.  If you could do all 90 scarves that would be wonderful.  We will be happy with whatever you can provide and I know they will provide comfort to the women who receive them.

I seldom think of Handmade’s activities as being effected by what’s going on in the greater community.  But here it is.  They cleaned up the homeless encampments in Orange County and one of our shelters is filled with the female evacuees.  Were they abused?  Is it appropriate for them to receive our scarves?  I think so and here’s the reasons.  Women make up about 25% of the homeless in general.  They are homeless often because they were trying to get away from an abusive environment and had no where to go and/or no financial resources to support their independence.  If they weren’t abused before they became homeless, they frequently are once they are homeless.  Rape and other forms of sexual exploitation are widespread on the streets.  There aren’t enough beds for male homeless and there are even less for female.  I am glad these women who had been living along the river in Orange County found beds at WISEPlace.  And we were able to send all 90 scarves Kathi requested.

So I’m feeling very good about yesterday’s shipping.  We worked hard.  We wrapped a lot of scarves.  We packed a lot of scarves.  We had a great lunch and enjoyed each other’s company.  We even had a few extra scarves which we set aside for next month.  The photo below shows the electricity we generated by our activities.

 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and every year I share with you astounding statistics about domestic violence in our state, our country and our world.  The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that domestic violence in our country is not declining.  The report is shocking, so take a seat, I don’t want you to fall down, and read today’s message. 

 

One in every 3 women in CA experiences intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence and/or intimate partner stalking some time during her life;

 

About 35% of these women are pregnant.  Domestic violence during pregnancy is the biggest cause of birth defects;

 

In CA, on any single day, domestic violence shelters serve almost 5,800 women and children; that means in a year, there are 2,157,000 seeking the protection of a shelter.  If you wonder why we make so many comfort scarves, that’s the reason;

 

Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crimes in CA;

 

A recent study found one in 5 homicide victims with temporary protective orders are murdered within two days of obtaining the order; one in 3 are murdered within the first month;

 

72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims in these crimes are female;

 

In CA, homicides in general decreased between 2009 and 2011, but homicides related to domestic violence increased 11%.  Murder is the epitome of domestic violence;

 

The presence of a gun in the home during a domestic violence incident increases the risk of homicide by at least 500%; in households with a history of domestic violence, the risk increases 2,000%.

 

An important issue raised by the above data is the increase in gun use during domestic violence incidents.  While the 1994 Violence Against Women Act banned gun ownership for people with permanent restraining orders (you can see from the data above that restraining orders are almost useless) due to intimate-partner violence, this law has a loophole:  offenders are not allowed to own guns, but they’re not explicitly compelled to give up guns they already have. 

 

CA has addressed this loophole by requiring those convicted of domestic violence abuse to give up ALL their firearms.  The NRA has vehemently prevented the passage of similar laws in other states and has prevented research to find out the effect these laws have on deaths during domestic violence incidents.  LA TIMES reporter Amina Khan, recently wrote about the work of Michael Siegel, an epidemiologist at the Boston University School of Public Health.   He found that in states like CA, which require offenders to give up their guns, the intimate-partner homicide rate from 1991 to 2015 dropped 14% while in states that simply banned gun possession, the homicide rate hardly dropped at all.

 

If you’re ready for more to think about, read on:

 

CA law enforcement agencies receive almost 175,000 domestic violence-related calls per year although most incidents are not reported.  40% of reported incidents involve weapons;

 

On a typical day, domestic violence hotlines receive 21,000 calls;

 

Rape crisis centers serve almost 32,000 survivors of sexual violence.

 

Every year since we started, Handmade Especially for You delivers 11,000 to 12,000 comfort scarves for abused women, 3,000 hats for their children, and 1,000 baby items.  Our hard work barely addresses the need.

 

We understand that the items we make cannot solve or cure the negative impact of domestic violence on the women and children who experience it.  We hope our comfort scarves will alleviate some of the terrible pain domestic violence causes.  The comfort scarves for the women and the hats we make for the kids are a START.  They help the women and children know we care about them.  They lift their spirits, raise their self-esteem, and give them hope that someday they may have a life without abuse.  Directors at the almost 70 shelters we serve use these hopeful moments to encourage women to begin the education and therapy that will help them live an abuse-free life.

 

The holiday season is just around the corner.  We usually deliver 3,000 scarves and 1,000 hats to the shelters in time for their holiday parties.  We want to do that this year.  That’s where you come in.  We have plenty of hats to fulfill our requests but we really need more scarves.  PLEASE.  I know how many of you have scarves in your “to do” pile, waiting to knit the last rows or to weave in the ends.   JUST DO IT.  When you finish, drop off your scarves at:

 

Concepts in Yarn

24520 Hawthorne Bl Suite 100

Torrance CA 90505

 

Or mail them to:

 

Handmade Especially for You c/o Leslye Borden

30065 Grandpoint Lane

Rancho Palos Verdes CA 90275

 

Once we receive your scarves, our dedicated volunteers will wrap them with colorful curling ribbons, pack them, and ship them to the shelters where they will bring smiles and hope.

 

Thank you for all you have done for abused women and their children in the past and all you will do in the future.  With our October shipping, we will reach the landmark of 100,000 scarves distributed since we began at the end of 2008.   We want to celebrate reaching this landmark with a celebration at Concepts in Yarn, the shop that sponsored us from the very first day.  Please join us on October 21, 2017, 1-4 p.m.   We will have a slide show that features important events in Handmade’s history as well as cards from our donors and participants.  Perhaps you’ll see yourself or something you made in it.  In addition, we will serve a sweet table to thank all our “sweet” volunteers for all you do for Handmade and for abused women and their children.   

 

Love,

Leslye

Thanks to YOU, today Handmade shipped 1,750 comfort scarves to 50 shelters for abused women.  Wow!  And UPS has already picked up all the boxes.  It was a huge stack of boxes.

 

We know our comfort scarves make a difference to the women who receive them.  We just heard from Carla Charraga, Deputy Director of the Siskiyou Domestic Violence & Crisis Center about the impact of last year’s scarves.  Here’s what she wrote:

 

Your scarves that you donated to us were really helpful to our shelter clients this past winter as many of them leave without any clothing items or personal things.  The scarves helped provide a little bit of sunshine and warmth.  They provided hope and a glimmer of light knowing that other people care about them and are thinking of them.  It helps them find their self-esteem in their road back to “recovery” and becoming a survivor. 

 

Her words are inspirational to me.  They motivate me to knit more scarves, to encourage you to knit more scarves, donate more yarn, continue working hard for Handmade.  I feel, because we have so much, we are obliged to support these women who have so little.   Especially because we hear time after time, that our scarves mean so much to them.

 

Today we began our autumn shipping with a bang—1,750 scarves is a huge amount.  We hope to deliver 5,000 in this season, which means we have 3,250 scarves to go.  We don’t have that many scarves right now, but I’m counting on you to make sure we have them to ship to our shelters in time for their holiday parties.

 

If you have scarves waiting for their finishing touches, weaving in the loose ends, etc. please finish them and sent them to:

 

Handmade Especially for You c/o Leslye Borden

30065 Grandpoint Lane

Rancho Palos Verdes CA 90275

 

Thanks for all you have done, and thanks in advance for all will contribute.

 

Love,

 

Leslye

 

 

Union Bank donated $1,000 to Handmade.  Jake Richards, manager of the Long Beach branch (which is home for Handmade’s account) presented the award at our July 20 wrapping party. 

Now we have actually received the $$$$ so we are even happier and want to share the news with you. 

We will use this generous gift to defray the cost of shipping our finished scarves and other items to the 70+ shelters for abused women that we serve.  We recently sent stuffed animals and baby items to 20 shelters who requested them.  In September, we will resume shipping comfort scarves to the shelters. 

Comfort scarves are a big deal at the shelters.  Many of the women who receive them have never before received a personal gift.  Yes, I wrote:  NEVER.  They are very down-hearted, sad, worthless, and feel they have nothing to look forward to.  They are amazed when they receive our scarves that people they don’t even know have made something so beautiful for them.  That has a big impact.  It gives them hope that maybe they can have a future without abuse.  Directors at the shelters use this moment to encourage them to begin the education and therapy that will change their lives. 

That’s not to say that receiving a comfort scarf always has this result.  And I'm not saying that the women finish the course of therapy and education the first, second, or even third time they try.  But receiving a comfort scarf helps them start.  Our needles are very powerful. 

Thanks to all Handmade’s volunteers for making beautiful comfort scarves that provide hope to abused women.  And Thanks, Union Bank, for providing $$$ so we can ship them to shelters for abused women. 

Thanks for keeping our scarf project going. 

Love, 

Leslye 

PS  If you want to donate yarn, scarves, $$$, please send them to:

Handmade Especially for You c/o Leslye Borden

30065 Grandpoint Lane

Rancho Palos Verdes CA 90275

 

Handmade is a 501(c)3 charity so your donations are tax deductible.

 

 

 

 

 

What a day.  32 volunteers came to our wrapping party today, a record for Handmade.  The previous record was 18.  What chaos!  What fun!  If you missed it, check out our website's photo gallery page.

Thanks so much to Sue and Regina.  They made the donation during Handmade’s weekly knitting session at Concepts in Yarn.  I saw them walking across the parking lot as I was carrying in bags of kits to share with our volunteers.  I had no idea why they were there.  We chatted, remembering that Regina was a Handmade knitter way back when Handmade was just starting.   I had no idea what was coming.

 

Handmade is getting closer and closer to the 100,000 scarves landmark.  Gifts such as this one ensure we will make it!

 

Keep knitting.  We need the scarves as well.

 

Thanks for supporting Handmade Especially for You.

 

Love,

 

Leslye

On Thursday (May 18) we shipped 650 comfort scarves.  Whew.  Our last shipping before our summer break.  Thanks to all who participated and made this shipping a breeze: 

Carolyn Lowi, owner of Concepts in Yarn, who provides meeting space and bins for kits and finished scarves;

Yarn companies who donate the yarn;

Volunteers who:

          Measure the yarn—Jeni, Paula, Karen H

          Measure the fun fur—Paula, Meredith

          Wind the Magic Balls— Angie, Ann, Carole Ann, Evelyn, Jeni, Karen H, Nancy C, Paula, Therese and others

          Assemble the kits—Ann

          Open boxes—Carlyn, Chris N, Sharon L

          Make the scarves—EVERYONE

          Wrap the scarves—Betty R, Carlyn, Chris F, Chris N, Ann, Evelyn, Karen, Paula, Sharon L, Therese and many more

          Pack the boxes—Ann, Chris N, Monica

          Ship the scarves--Ann

Donors who:

          Contribute yarn—Berroco Yarn, Brown Sheep Yarn, Crystal Palace Yarns, Mountain Colors

          Contribute $$$$--Betty W, Marlene, Kathy A, Vicki R

          Contribute ribbon--Carlyn

          Contribute boxes—Beth, Kathleen, Monica

          Defray the cost of shipping—UPS Foundation

Big hearted volunteers who:

          Make the gift tags--Phil

          Fill out tax forms—Sharon M

          Keep the books--Ann

          Manage the website—Ann, Lori J

          Post on Facebook—Karen W 

It takes a lot of people to keep Handmade going.  If I didn’t include your name, really, I meant to.  Go ahead and add it and let me know.  What’s the result of all effort?  So far this year, we’ve shipped 5,400 scarves, 80 hats, and 280 baby items.  Wow.  Even more incredible, since we started at the end of 2008, we’ve donated 97,400 scarves, 3,080 hats, and a lot of baby items.  Really.  We’ve done a lot. 

There’s still plenty more to do.  Between September and November, we will need 4,000 to 5,000 scarves to meet the requests of shelters for abused women throughout the state of California.  We will need 2,000 hats (we have about 1,000 already) for the kids who come to the shelters with their moms.  And we want to have whatever baby items you want to donate.  Comfort scarves are important because they give the women hope for a life without abuse.  Hats for their kids are important because they help the children recover from the domestic violence they have seen and abuse they experienced.  Baby items lift the spirits of the pregnant women who arrive at the shelters feeling they have nothing to offer the baby on its way. 

Handmade’s scarves, hats, and baby items provide hope, love, caring, a sense of worth to the recipients.  Whatever part of the process you contribute is important.  I thank you.  The shelters thank you.  And the women and children who have sought the protection of a shelter thank you. 

Keep scarfing.  Our needles are powerful. 

Love, 

Leslye 

PS  Don’t wait until autumn to send us your scarves, hats and baby items.  It takes time to get everything ready and wrapped.  We stay busy all summer getting ready for holiday shipping.  Please send your contributions to: 

Handmade Especially for You c/o Leslye Borden

30065 Grandpoint Lane

Rancho Palos Verdes CA 90275

 

 

Carolyn Lowi is the new owner of Concepts in Yarn!  All the papers were signed at the beginning of the month, and Carolyn immediately started a major redesign of the shop.  While negotiations were in progress, Carolyn already began opening up the space and making the shop bright and airy.  Now the shop is closed temporarily for the major work to be completed.  We all feel like we are wearing blindfolds that will come off on April 15^th when the shop reopens.  We will be there to celebrate!

Carolyn’s ownership means a lot to Handmade Especially for You.  Carolyn believes in helping others, and part of her motivation for buying Concepts was to make sure the good work of Handmade continues.  This generous philosophy dates at least back to when she was raising her two sons.   She understood that they had everything they needed and wanted, that they were privileged, in contrast with the children who arrive at shelters with their abused moms.  She wanted her sons to know the difference between their lucky lives and the lives of those who had less. 

 

As a result, she started volunteering in the community, and even volunteering at shelters for abused women.  She took her young sons with her.  They all participated in 1736’s Christmas boutique.  That’s when 1736 turns its offices into a “store.”  Each office is a different “department,” so mothers can “shop” for their kids and kids can select gifts for their mothers.  Kids, by the way, love to choose Handmade’s comfort scarves for their moms so Carolyn was familiar with Handmade long before she learned to knit!  At 1736, she helped mothers go from room to room picking out gifts for their children.  Her sons participated by wrapping the selected gifts.  Everyone-- the mothers, the children and the volunteers--leaves happy at this warm holiday event.

In addition to running Concepts in Yarn and supporting Handmade, Carolyn has a new project in mind.  Her older son entered treatment in 2016 (he has been sober now for 14 months!).  Going through the hardest parts of recovery were difficult for him.  From that experience, Carolyn thought that a small knit blanket might help others who arrive at treatment centers sometimes at their lowest, sometimes near death.  She wants to encourage teens to learn to knit so they can make “comfort blankets” for people going through the challenges of recovery.  They can use these blankets the same way abused women use their comfort scarves.  Wearing a comfort scarf feels like a hug; Carolyn thinks holding on to a comfort blanket will feel the same way.

We so appreciate Carolyn’s invitation for us to continue meeting on Wednesday evenings 5-7 p.m. at Concepts.  And we are grateful that she will allow us to place our bins in her shop.   Handmade volunteers will still be able to drop off finished scarves and pick up new kits to make more comfort scarves just by dropping in at the beautiful, fresh, new Concepts in Yarn. 

Thank you, Carolyn.  Good luck to you, your family, and to Concepts!  We wish you every success.

 

I don’t know how it happened, but I missed sharing with you the good news of our February shipping, and here it is March, and we just finished shipping again.  So here’s the news:

February:  590 comfort scarves to 13 shelters throughout CA

March:  590 comfort scarves to 13 shelters throughout CA

YTD:  we’ve distributed 2,905 comfort scarves for abused women and 80 hats for their children to 50+ shelters.

Since we started at the end of 2008:  we’ve donated 94,905 comfort scarves for abused women and 3080 hats for their children to 70+ shelters.

Wow!  We couldn’t have done this without your contributions, donations, and support, time, and money.

Now we have to get busy gathering about 2,000 comfort scarves for shipping to most of our shelters in time for their Mother’s Day parties.  We need your scarves before April 20, our next shipping day.

You see, Handmade needs YOU!  Keep scarfing.  No matter how many scarves we send, we only scratch the surface of the need. 

With your support, we can achieve this goal.  Our scarves do help lift the spirits of abused women.  Keep up your good work.

Love,  Leslye

On Monday, Jan 2nd, I sent the following email to Handmade's local volunteers. Many responded with loving comments and a photo, which I'd like to share with everyone.  I hope from these comments you will see how appreciated June was.

Remember at the end of September when I wrote to you about My City Youth Center?  This shelter is the only one I know of that protects children 8-18 (who come to them alone, not brought with their mother fleeing abuse).  These children have been traumatized themselves, some fled from their homes due to abuse, some tried to make it on the streets as prostitutes, and/or some were exploited by adults in trafficking of one kind or another.  I don’t know how they find out about this shelter (it is in Hemet), but it is a haven for them. 

At the time I first wrote to you about them, we had just finished shipping 168 baby items to 21 shelters.  Because I heard about them after we finished the shipping of baby items, I didn’t have any for this shelter, which has a big number of pregnant teens, all of whom would have been very appreciative of the baby items we make.  So I put out a call for more baby items, and many of you answered.  One of our volunteers even made baby bags with matching hats and a toy.  What a package.

 

Here’s what happened.  A few weeks later, we had a big number of baby items again, enough to share with 22 shelters.  We divided up everything (I gave My City Youth Center two shares to make up for the shipping they missed) and shipped them out with the hats at the beginning of this month.  UPS picked up all the packages on a Tuesday; they were delivered on Wednesday, and  on Thursday I* received a photo a baby in one of the baby bags, wearing the matching hat.  Just that fast.  

If you didn’t realize it before this, what you do makes a difference in the lives of the people who seek protection in the shelters we serve.  Thank you so much! 

Right now, we’re in the throes of shipping scarves to all our regular shelters as well as about 20 others.  We have so many scarves we can share them with so many shelters.  That’s thanks to you, too!  I’ll let you know the totals when we finish.  Keep up the good work. 

Happy Thanksgiving.  Count your blessings.  We have so many.  

Love, 

Leslye

   Blog here.

What a week.  Tuesday we shipped 800 hats for kids, 138 baby items, and 100 miscellaneous items for kids.  UPS picked them up so quickly yesterday that I already received a thank you from CPAF, one of our shelters: 

Hi Leslye! 

We received your box of hats today and your letter.  Thank you so much, they look great! I will let our shelter staff know and we will distribute them for the holidays. 

Thank you for spreading the warmth and joy this holiday season. J 

Thanks again! 

Anna Lee | Development Coordinator

Today we wrapped all the scarves we had on hand. A veritable mountain of scarves. My dining room echoes, it is so empty. We’re all set for Nov. 17, our big shipping date. Maybe we can start packing the boxes now.

 

This shipping is the culmination of all we have been doing all year. I can’t thank you all enough. You make it possible.

 

As I’ve told you, I have contacted more shelters to which we can donate our scarves (because we have so many scarves). These new-to-us-shelters serve a lot of women, and they have a lot of kids. So we still have a big demand for hats. Still, I am not making an all-out SOS plea for hats. I feel we just can’t stop making them. Like our scarves, the hats mean more than we realize for those who seek the protection of a shelter.

 

Coats & Clark just donated great hat making yarn to Handmade and June Grossberg, owner of Concepts in Yarn, our sponsor, has ordered more size 11 and 13 circular needles. If you want to make hats for the kids and teens at the shelters, we can help you get started. Don’t worry about having them ready for Nov. 17 shipping. If we have the hats ready in January or February, it’s still plenty cold and we will ship them then. Your contribution means a lot.

 

Remember, the women and children who flee to the shelters are desperate. They do not pack a suitcase with their belongings. They arrive with nothing but the clothes on their backs. The items we knit for them give them comfort. They warm their hearts. They lift their spirits.

 

Keep knitting. Thank you so much.  Your generosity inspires me.

 

Love,

Leslye

 

 

 

Every October, I write about Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Usually I cite shocking statistics about the prevalence of domestic violence (one in four women experience it) or how costly it is to the community.   This year I want to concentrate on domestic violence as a learned activity.  Boys who grow up in households where the father or other male figure abuses the mom grow up to become abusers themselves.  Girls who watch their mothers being abused learn how to become victims. 

All of us have heard and read about the comments one candidate made about his right to kiss, grab, paw at, and violate women who are attractive to him.  The effect this abhorrent attitude may have on the children watching him threatens the work we do to prevent domestic violence from repeating itself generation after generation.

Many boys watching/listening to the candidate are looking for role models who demonstrate what it is like to be a man.  They hear his boasts.  They admire his power.  They want to be like him, so that they can do what he does.  Like watching the abusive male figure in their home, they learn that it’s OK to kiss, grab, and grope a woman if they have enough power to do so.  They learn to be abusers. 

Girls hear and see this powerful man and learn from his boasts that men can do anything they want to women.  They come to believe themselves weak and vulnerable.  They worry that they have to steel themselves for such assaults.  The lesson they take away is that they can never be as powerful as the men who violate them.  They learn to be victims.

Some have excused the remarks by saying “boys will be boys” or this is only “locker room banter.”   But the comments did not occur in a locker room and they were much more than banter.  Men whose livelihood has taken them inside numerous locker rooms agree.  For example,

Dean Obeidallah:  “I’ve heard men boast about sexual conquests in locker rooms, but I never heard bragging about assaulting women. . . . since that is what kissing or touching women without their consent is.”

Jake Tapper has agreed:  “I have been in locker rooms.  I have been a member of a fraternity.  I have never heard any man, ever, brag about being able to maul women because they can get away with it—never.”

If we accept or dismiss them as normal boy talk, we perpetuate the message to boys that it’s OK to humiliate women and to girls that this is how they can expect to be treated. 

As Michelle Obama argued, “to dismiss this as everyday locker-room talk is an insult to decent men everywhere. . . . Strong men—men who are truly role models—don’t need to put down women to make themselves feel powerful. . . . The men in my life do not talk about women like this.”

To become good men, respectful bosses, loving husbands, fathers, brothers and sons, boys need positive role models who do not engage in this kind of “locker room banter,” and girls will learn that they will be successful due to their ability, education, determination, and creativity.

For all of us who are horrified by domestic violence, who want to support abused women by making comfort scarves for them, who want to end the cycle of domestic violence by making hats for the children, we have the responsibility to argue against the idea that “locker-room banter” is OK.  That sexual assault on women is OK.  That women are inferior to men.  We have to support gender equality in the work place, equal pay for equal work, education for all.  We have to do whatever it takes to help women and children live a life free of abuse.

At the shelters to which we donate our comfort scarves, the women suffer from low self-esteem.  Their partners have exerted power over them to such an extent that their only choice is to flee their abusive environment.  Receiving a comfort scarf helps them feel they have some worth and value as a human being, that they are not doomed to living as a victim of abuse.  Keep knitting!

If you weren’t here on Thursday when we had our October wrapping and shipping session, we packed up 650 comfort scarves for 10 shelters (we ship to most of our shelters quarterly; only 10 receive monthly deliveries).  That brings our yearly total up to 7,650 scarves; 87,650 shipped since we began at the end of 2008.  Give yourselves a big pat on the back.  This is a tremendous accomplishment.  Thank you all so much for the part you played in this. 

On Wednesday, Steve Lopez, columnist at the LA Times, wrote a story about the good work of Lucy Garabedian Abdelradly, who for 35 years has worked at Hillsides, a non-profit charity that houses and counsels children removed from their homes due to abuse or neglect. 

I read the article and was very moved by it.  I think you will be too.  Here’s the link if you want to read it:  http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-1019-lopez-lucy--20161018-snap-story.html  So I did what you might expect me to do and called them up.  I offered our comfort scarves, which they are very happy to receive, both for their residential program (for kids 8-18) and for Youth Moving On, their non-residential program for young adults 18-27.  We’ll pack the boxes on Monday or Tuesday. 

We are so lucky to have plenty of comfort scarves so we can fulfill this need.  Another opportunity to give yourselves a big pat on the back. 

Thanks so much for all you do to support Handmade Especially for You.  

Have a great weekend.  Stay cool!  Don’t you think that it’s very ironic that both our September and October shipping days were hot, hot, hot (in temperature).  This illustrates that comfort scarves really warm the spirits not necessarily the bodies of their recipients. 

Love, 

Leslye

 

 

 

   Blog here.

Last week I posted a message telling about our great shipping and our new shelters, My City Youth Center.  Your response has been amazing.  Many have offered clothing and other help for this shelters; and baby items are pouring in.  I’m sure we will have a good box to ship them before year’s end. 

Remember last year when Sister Anne Kelley of The Good Shepherd Shelter came and spoke to our group at Concepts in Yarn.  She encouraged us to knit for the children who come to the shelters with their (abused) mothers.  She told us she wants more focus on the children as a method to break the cycle of abuse:  a boy learns how to be an abuser by watching his dad or the significant male in his household; a girl learns how to be a victim by watching her mom being abused.  We were dubious that our knitted hats would have the desired impact on the children, but we plunged in, wanting to give it a try.  Last year, we shipped over 1,000 hats to shelters; this year already we have shipped 750.  

Sister Anne saw last week’s note and wrote back the following appreciation.  Here’s what we should have known.  She is responsible for the founding of My City Youth Center!  And she sees our hats and scarves as way of helping the children protected there to feel loved.  She’s so happy with our efforts; and I am too.  Thank you all so much for all your contributions. 

Here’s Sister Anne’s letter: 

WOW, Leslye!  That IS astounding!  You are all amazing!! 

Thanks so much for including us in your thoughtful and generous efforts.  So glad too, to hear about the My City Youth Center!  There is an ever-growing need for these kids.  We started the shelter in an effort to provide early intervention so the kids from abusive homes could get the help they needed before they had to endure another 5-10 years of abuse and finally ran away.  Obviously, there are still a lot out there who need help.    Glad you are a part of making them feel loved. 

All the best!! 

Sr. Anne

 

Or, I’m astounded. 

On Thursday, we had a big shipping after our summer break.  It was incredible.  We shipped 1,625 scarves and 150 hats to 42 shelters.  It turns out we forgot to include a few shelters, but we will take care of them next week.  That makes our YTD totals 7,000 scarves, 750 hats, and 168 baby items.  We hope to distribute around 11,000 by the end of the year.  We have a long way to go to achieve that goal, but I think we’re in good shape to do so. 

Another amazing story.  On Wednesday, at the recommendation of one of our shelters, I called My City Youth Center.  This shelter specializes in protecting children age 8-18.  Yes, you read it correctly, age 8-18.  Who are these children?  They are runaways who have nowhere else to go.  Some have tried to make it by becoming prostitutes.  Some have been rescued from sex trafficking.  (Maybe that’s the same as prostitution.)  Many are pregnant.  That’s how their name came to me.  When we were offering baby items to our shelters, a shelter that didn’t need them suggested this shelter because they really need them.  By the time we made contact, Handmade didn’t have any more baby items to share, but I promised that we would send some to them when we did.  The director told me about their mission and their children.  He felt they would benefit greatly from receiving our hats and scarves.  I certainly hope they do, and I know you hope so as well. 

Please keep scarfing and hatting.  You can see the shelters depend on us. 

Thanks for all you do. 

Love, 

Leslye

 

 

 

If you ever wondered whether shelters really want the comfort scarves, etc. we make for them, when you read the letter of appreciation below you won't wonder any more.

Dear Ms. Borden and the Handmade Especially for you Crew; 

I was working late – I’m always working late, when your generous gift, eight baby items, arrived. What a wonderful way to end my work day. 

On behalf of the clients of Humboldt Domestic Violence Services (HDVS), I wanted to personally thank you for your kindness and generosity to survivors and their children. Just yesterday a woman was looking through some of the beautiful handmade scarfs and hats you sent – she was so excited to be able to pick out a color just right for her and know that it was made with her in mind . . . a “new” crafted item is so important to woman, especially those who come to HDVS with nothing more than the clothes they are wearing. She was thrilled when I told her that her gift was made by other women who care and understand why she was here. She told me it was the best gift she had received in quite some time and she would cherish it always. 

Right now we have several babies at our shelter so the baby items will be distributed and well used. Your willingness to create these wonderful items truly makes a differences in the lives of survivors and their children. Your gift helps to give survivors back their voices by making them feel valued. Thank you for being role models in your community and supporting positive awareness about survivors of domestic and intimate partner violence. 

Respectfully yours,

Brenda Bishop 

Executive Director

Humboldt Domestic Violence Services

 

Over the weekend, I divided all the baby items we’ve been collecting and shipped them to the 21 shelters (really, 24 shelters requested items but the boxes were packed before the last 3 requests came in) which wanted them.  I included stuffed animals and wash cloths to round out the packages.  It still ended up that we gave only 8 items to each shelter.

 

I had no idea that baby items would be so popular.  I’m glad we could give some items to so many shelters.  All in all, 8 items to each shelter will seem like very few to the individual shelters, but if you want to make more, we can send items again when we have enough. 

 

If you want to take a break from making comfort scarves (which, after all, are our main product) and make a few baby items, blankets were most requested.  I estimate that one regular crib size blanket is about the same size as 10 scarves, but you could make receiving blanket size blankets as well.

 

I was happy to think of all the dish cloths we’ve been making found a useful place.  I included them in the boxes as wash cloths for babies.  I really like that idea.

 

I think preemie and really newborn size caps are not that useful in the long run.  If you want to make hats for babies, I’d stick to one year size.  In general, we really want hats for kids age 6-14.

 

You’re all doing a great job.  We’re well set for our Sept. 22 big shipping of comfort scarves.  Thank you so much.

 

Love,

 

Leslye

October 10, 2015

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Ever since I began writing newsletters for Handmade, I make Domestic Violence the subject of the October newsletter.  I repeat statistics and results of studies by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence which show how widespread and damaging domestic violence is for our entire community.  Just listing their   findings would be repetitive, so I want to single out a few that have new meaning for me.

            One in four women experiences domestic violence in her lifetime.

This was just a statistic to me that, while serious and terrible for those to whom it applied, didn’t apply to me.  That is, until last year when the KCET team came to video Handmade at work.  There were 8 of us present, doing our respective “jobs.”  When it turned out that Rainbow Services (the first shelter to which Handmade donated scarves) couldn’t send an actual abuse survivor for the piece, Val Zavala (KCET’s Vice President of News and Public Affairs) asked if there were any abuse survivors among us.  I was going to answer “No” but then two of our volunteers stepped forward.   One in Four.  Really.             

85% of domestic violence victims are women; 25% to 45% are battered during pregnancy. 

Another statistic.  I was surprised that so much abuse occurs during pregnancy, but then as I learned more about domestic violence and its causes, I came to understand why.  Abuse is about power, control.  The abuser demands the undivided attention of his victim.  When a woman becomes pregnant, her attention shifts from her husband, partner, boyfriend to her developing baby.  The husband, partner, boyfriend resents this change of focus, and the abuse begins.

Domestic violence during pregnancy is the biggest cause of birth defects

Growing up as I did in the 50s, I thought the biggest cause of birth defects was genetic.  Or disease.  Or Thalidomide.  Domestic violence never crossed my mind (because, when I was growing up, I never heard of it).  To me, abuse during pregnancy as the biggest cause of birth defects was another shocking, but terrible statistic.  However, a few weeks ago, I spoke to a large group at the AT&T Call Center in Tustin CA.  I was trying to encourage the audience to choose Handmade as the recipient of their $$$ donation during the United Way Giving Campaign.  As part of my talk, I listed some of the most shocking domestic violence statistics.  After I said “Domestic violence during pregnancy is the biggest cause of birth defects,” a woman raised her hand and said:  “My first husband abused me.  And I lost my baby.”  A hush fell over the audience.  That’s real. 

Domestic violence occurs among people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds

Again, my personal experience with domestic violence is non-existent.  My husband never abused me.  My father never abused my mother.  When I first started Handmade, I more or less felt I was making comfort scarves altruistically, for another group, another neighborhood, but not for anyone I really knew.  But, one summer evening as a group of Handmade volunteers were knitting at Concepts in Yarn, our local yarn shop, I felt overwhelmed by the good luck of our group—beautiful setting, beautiful weather, wonderful companions, and I blurted out:  “We’re so lucky.  None of us has experienced abuse.”  One of the women answered:  “My daughter just graduated from Rainbow.  And she took her scarf with her.”  Domestic violence touches every social, economic, educational, ethnic, and religious group.          

Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners when they become adults.

After Sister Anne of the Good Shepherd Shelter, spoke to Handmade about the work they do at her shelter, she emphasized that their program is based on the premise that because abuse is LEARNED, it can be UNLEARNED.  In response to this, Handmade began its campaign to make hats for the kids in the shelters.  We hope that receiving a hat will affect the kids in way similar to receiving a comfort scarf moves their mothers.   We polled all our shelters about how many kids arrive with their moms.  50 + shelters are home to about 2,700 kids.  So far in our hat campaign, we have collected about 1,500 hats.  Only 1,200 to go.  We want to deliver them in time for holiday parties at the shelters.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month makes us think about women who experience abuse on a daily basis, those who seek the protection of a shelter, and those who don’t.

As our way of alleviating the terrible effects of abuse, Handmade makes and distributes comfort scarves.  However, the 12,000 scarves we deliver each year cannot combat these statistics or cure the harm done to the women and children who experience abuse.  Receiving a comfort scarf is a START to overcoming the negative effects of abuse.  Comfort scarves help a woman feel important and valuable.  The feelings a woman experiences when she receives a comfort scarf give her hope that beginning the therapy and education offered by the shelter really will change her life.  We who make comfort scarves have a big responsibility to keep making them, to continue helping abused women break out of the mental state that allows them to think abuse is OK or even “normal.”

We need you.  We need you to make scarves, enough scarves so we can supply all the shelters in S CA with the comfort scarves they have requested.  We still need 3,000 scarves and 1,000 hats for kids in time for holiday parties at the shelters.

Finally, if you want to donate scarves or $$$, please mail to:

Handmade Especially for You c/o Leslye Borden

30065 Grandpoint Lane

Rancho Palos Verdes CA 90275

Thanks for supporting Handmade Especially for You.  I appreciate, and so do all the abused women who receive our comfort scarves.

Leslye Borden, Founder

Handmade Especially for You

501(c)3  EIN: 26-3529292

Handmade Especially for You is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt non-profit charity, so your donation is tax-deductible.  We provide appropriate receipts for all donations.  100% of cash donations goes toward helping abused women, paying for shipping scarves to shelters, etc.

 

 

 

We did it again.  We shipped a huge amount of comfort scarves to shelters for abused women. 

The directors at the shelters so appreciate our donations.  They love that the women are so amazed at our gift to them that they (even for a moment) feel worthwhile and willing to begin the education and therapy that will enable them to live the rest of their lives abuse free.

You made this happen. 

Thank you so much.  Keep up the great work.  We will begin shipping again in Sept.  The Sept-Nov shipping represents even more scarves than we deliver Jan through May.  We use the summer months to amass the 5,000 or so scarves we need for the second half of the year. 

Whatever you contribute, we appreciate.  Thanks for your dedication to Handmade Especially for You, and in particular, your dedication to helping women who have experienced domestic abuse. 

Keep up the good work. 

Love, 

Leslye

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you have a wonderful day with your family.

Please think about all the good you have in your life and how much good you do for others by participating in Handmade Especially for You.

Mother’s Day is an especially difficult time for abused women and their children. This family-oriented occasion makes them remember what they left that was good in their previous life, even if it was filled with pain and violence. The shelters for abused women to which we donate our comfort scarves always have a Mother’s Day celebration for the women, to help them ease their pain and get through what otherwise would be a very sad day.

We are so lucky. We have received so much in our lives. We have a lot to give, and we give it!

Thank you so much.

I’m thinking about all of you who make Handmade possible. I’m thinking about the women (and children) in the shelters who have so little but hope to have more. I’m thinking about my husband, my family and my friends who have enriched my life and made Mother’s Day, an otherwise stationary store holiday, a meaningful occasion for me.

Love,

Leslye

THANKS TO YOU!!!

Yes, thanks to YOU.  On Thursday, Handmade shipped over 1,500 comfort scarves plus 130 baby items to all our shelters for abused women and we couldn’t have done this without YOU.  Appreciation is important, and I want you to know that first of all, the abused women who receive our scarves are thrilled with them and love what we do, and second of all, I appreciate what you do to make this possible.

I have written many times that “it takes a village” to make and deliver 1,500 comfort scarves, but I can’t say it enough.  Here’s who’s in the Handmade village:

It starts with generous yarn donors, both yarn companies and individuals, who contribute fabulous yarn, all textures and colors;

We sort the yarn by weight and color, then measure it to make into “magic balls;”

Volunteers pre-measure novelty yarn so it’s ready for winding into “magic balls”;

Volunteers wind the pre-measured yarn and novelty yarn into the “magic balls,” which are the essence of Handmade’s scarf making process;

We distribute the “magic balls” to volunteers and groups of volunteers, locally, statewide, and nationally, who want to make comfort scarves but do not supply their own yarn;

Concepts in Yarn hosts our charity, provides bins where volunteers can pick up “magic balls” and drop off finished scarves;

Volunteers throughout the country use their own stash, and mail finished scarves to us for distribution to our shelters;

Volunteers open these boxes of scarves, inspect for quality, make sure they have gift tags, etc. and prepare reports so we can send thank you letters;

Volunteers weave in loose threads, add fringe if scarves arrive without novelty yarn, add gift tags, and do whatever else is necessary to prepare the scarves for shipping;

Volunteers “wrap” scarves with colorful curling ribbon so each scarf becomes a personal gift to the recipient;

Volunteers pack boxes to ship scarves to the shelters;

FedEx, USPS, and volunteers deliver scarves to the shelters;

Donors contribute money to pay for the shipping;

Donors contribute tape, curling ribbon, office supplies, etc. to facilitate shipping;

Volunteers maintain the web site, keep the books, issue reports, etc.

Other volunteers do all the things I’ve forgotten to include on this list.

I know you did some of these activities.  We couldn’t have shipped so many scarves and baby items without you.

But don’t stop now. Yes, pat yourself on the back.  You deserve praise.  But abuse doesn’t stop just because we sent out so many scarves.  Domestic violence knows no calendar (even though many people believe it reaches its peak on Super Bowl Sunday).  It occurs every day, among people in every socio-economic class, at every educational level, in every ethnic and religious group.  That makes us all responsible for preventing it and helping those who have experienced this trauma to recover from it. 

That’s where our comfort scarves fit in.   They help victims of domestic violence recover from it.  The women arrive at shelters with very low self-esteem; they believe they are responsible for the abuse they have received; they worry that their future is bleak.  They receive one of our scarves, and even if for only a few minutes, feel someone cares about them, that because someone has made something beautiful for them, they must have some value after all.  That’s the beginning of their road to recovery.  The road is not easy, it takes a lot of education and therapy, sometimes they backslide, sometimes they even return to their abuser.  But eventually, many of them make it to a life free from abuse.  And we have helped them, in a small way, to be sure, but in a big way overall.  So we all have to keep scarfing, keep on doing whatever we have been doing as part of the big village that comprises Handmade.  We have to make sure our comfort scarves keep arriving at the shelters.

In like manner, we have added children’s hats to what we want to send to the shelters.  The women arrive with nothing but the clothes on their backs and their children.  The children, who themselves have often been the victims of abuse and certainly have witnessed it, think abuse is “normal.”  The father or man of the house, the abuser, is a role model for the son; the mother, the victim, is a role model for the daughter.  At the shelters, they unlearn thinking these behaviors are normal.  The directors tell us giving the children something we have made will help them in the same way as our scarves help their mothers.  So we have started making hats for the kids.  We have almost 200 right now, but not enough to give one to every child at the shelters. We want you to make hats, yes, but not at the expense of your making comfort scarves.   Of course, you alternate between making scarves and hats.   

Help the Handmade village grow.  Recruit your friends.  Let’s get more volunteers so we can contribute more to the shelters.  The power of our needles is very strong!  Keep them clicking.  Thanks for all you personally have done and will continue to do to help abused women and their children. 

 

 

 

HATS.   What a surprise for a topic.  We usually talk about comfort scarves.  Well, consider these comfort hats, not for the abused women who come to the shelters but for their kids.  

In January, when Sister Anne spoke to us about how her shelter (The Good Shepherd) helps women and their children recover from the trauma of the abuse they experienced before they arrived at the shelter, she emphasized to us that abuse is LEARNED, and therefore can be UNLEARNED.  At The Good Shepherd, the program focuses as much on the kids as on the women.  We were very impressed by this program, and asked what we could do to help the kids (the way our comfort scarves help their mothers) and she answered that we could knit for the kids too. 

We polled all our shelters about how many kids they had and what handmade items we could provide to help them get over the trauma of the abused they witnessed and/or experienced.  The shelters responded enthusiastically, suggesting a long list of handmade items they thought their kids would like.  All agreed making things for the kids would be very beneficial to their programs.  We felt we would be best at supplying them with hats.  We questioned them about colors; after all, we don't want to provide anything that might be in "gang colors."  Most said all colors were great.  As far as sizes, we settled on child size small to fit at child 6-8 years old and child size medium, geared toward a 10 year old.  Hats for older kids and teens should be the same as for adults. 

I contacted several of our volunteers who were hat makers when they first started with Handmade, but switched to scarves once they realized that was our main mission.  I asked them if they would make hats again, not stopping, of course, making scarves. Almost all of them have come through with a good selection of hats (and scarves).  If you have a pattern you love to make, please share it with us.  Send us your hats.  We will love to receive them and share them with our shelters. 

I have been experimenting making hats as well.  I tried many patterns.  What I wanted was a hat that was as easy to make as our comfort scarf.  I found a ribbed hat pattern that filled the bill.  It is so easy, with no complicated crown shaping at the end.  You can knit it on size 13 circular needles (9-inch wire) or 13 inch double-pointed needles.  I have made it all different ways:  one color, striped, even with scraps.  When I didn't have yarn that would work well on size 13 needles, I made it by combining lighter weight yarns.  Making hats is another good way (after our wonderful horizontal scrap scarf pattern) to use up the mountains of scraps we generate making our magic ball kits.  If you would like the pattern for this easy, easy ribbed hat, please send me an email at:  handmade.leslye@gmail. com.  I will be happy to share it with you.

Making hats for the children in shelters is a serious responsibility.   Sister Anne reports The Good Shepherd Shelter has 12 mothers and 45 children currently in residence.  Using that shelter as representative of all shelters means we need to make 2,700 hats for the children who arrive at shelters with their mothers.  We have about 150 right now.  Of course, just starting out, we do not have to supply every shelter with hats for the kids at the same time, as we do with comfort scarves for their mothers.  But you can see the big job we have ahead.

We understand that making hats for the kids is IN ADDITION to making comfort scarves for their moms.  If you have extra time for hat making, we want your hats.  But please, please don’t stop making comfort scarves in order to make hats.  What can I say?  We need both.  We want to help the mothers and we want to help their children.

 

Of course, thanks in advance for everything you contribute!